Calvin Locke Norton

Calvin Locke Norton April 20, 2012 10:14 a.m. 7 lb 14 oz 21-3/4" Our son is here!! This is to share our labor story. On Wednesday night, we met my parents half way to their house to meet up for dinner, and give them the girls to take to their house. My mom was so sweet and offered to take them for a few days so that Taylor and I could relax and be a couple for a few days before baby boy comes. We enjoyed a good dinner, and the girls did so good at the restaurant, yes I like to brag at this because sometimes (more often than not), it doesn't go so well and we spend most of the time disciplining. But we enjoyed dinner and it was wonderful! I kissed the girls a million times before they left. As much as I was looking forward to a day to myself, I knew I would miss them. On Thursday, April 19, I enjoyed the day cleaning up our room, clearing off the changing table, getting his bed ready, catching up on Hulu, and doing absolutely anything I wanted to do. I went to the doctor, and I was a 3 and 50% effaced. Could mean something, or nothing at all. I went to my friend Angie's place, and walked on the treadmill and watched with jealousy as her and another friend worked their booties off!! I think I burned calories just watching them. Then afterwards we went and got some VICTORY SODA (as Ang calls it haha)! A route 44 Dr. Pepper for me. And Angie called it - right at 4 in the morning on Thursday - I started having contractions. They were about 10 minutes apart. I got out of bed at 5 in the morning and asked Taylor if he would watch a show with me. They kept coming and were closer together the more I moved. Made the call to my "doulas" Angie and Beth at like 6:30 when they were like 5 minutes apart. So they came over. They were getting closer together and were like 3 minutes apart at 7:30 in the morning. I started to get nauseous, and we took that as a hint to get to the hospital. We got checked in by like 8, and I was at a 6, which I was okay with because I wasn't a 4. The doctor asked if I wanted her to break my water, which I declined. The contractions got pretty bad. I asked if I could not be hooked up, which they allowed me to be free of all the lines for a while. I thought my water was never going to break! That was the hardest part for me - having all these intense contractions and my water staying intact. At like 10 in the morning I had a bad contraction hopped up real quick to my knees, and then my water broke! What a relief! I felt so much better after that happened. Then I kept telling the nurse that I think I had to push. The same thing happened as it did with Gemma where I was not fully dilated, so they did not want me pushing. I told her I was going to push, and she kept telling me to wait and not push, and then she left go get the doctor. Next thing I know, Taylor is right there holding his head, and then nurse came in and looked at me frantically like do I stay and deliver this baby or go get the doctor? She left again, and so it was just Taylor holding Calvin's head while the doctor came in. I pushed the rest of him out as the doctor was getting her gloves on...crazy!! There he was! Perfect! He didn't cry at first, and I asked the nurse if he was alive, which they replied yes. :) Calvin is a pretty chill little dude. You blink and your little baby is already weeks old. As I am finishing this up - he is 10 days old!! What?!?! He is pretty easy right now - knock on wood. He just eats and sleeps....hardly cries...he does have a grunt. I love him. The girls love him too. Ellie calls him baby brudda, and Gemma says baybay. They like to give him hugs and kisses and bring things to him, like his blanket and toys. I am nervous as all get out to have the three of them by myself. So far, my mom has been here...and oh my has it been a blessing. I am a grateful woman.

Walking on the Line

I am kinda in looney land. I try so hard to make sure I have it all together...not as an image thing, but to really have everything together - my discipline plan perfected where I am super consistent and patient and loving and firm. My house super clean so that my girls don't put crud in their mouths or walk around on our filthy floors. All my meals cooked so i can not have to multi task too much. All this to say so that I can stay sane. I feel like so much is in disorder that I can not function... not only that, but my mind is in the future and worrying too much about what I am going to do here in a few weeks.

On a side note, my baby girl is walking for sure now!! And tonight, when Ellie came out of her bedroom, and we came out of our room, and said Ellie go back to bed, she said okay see you later, and shut the door and ran to bed. Too funny. I love my girls. Life may be a little looney right now, but God is keeping my head above water, and as long as I depend on Him, I know he will give me the strength I need and the joy to appreciate it all. *sigh*

I am so in love with my kids. They bring out every emotion possible. They drive me crazy. I get tired. I get exhausted. I get impatient. They make me smile, laugh. I am amazed. I am impressed. I am proud. I am in love. I keep trying to change my perspective in this season of life. Because my emotions are up and down, I want to maintain the joy that comes from the Lord. I want to be 100% for my kids as much as I can. I've read a lot of perspectives from mothers that talk about how it is impossible to "carpe diam." Seize the day! But, I think you have to do that! Ellie is now 2 years old. She is changing. She is learning to control her emotions, or rather I am trying to help and train her to. I am laughing to myself because when am I able to truly control my emotions, 100% of the time??? She is learning to express herself. She is learning how to be social. She is learning to be alive. It kind of makes me excited. It kind of makes me scared to death. However, God did give me the responsibility to do the best I can to raise her to love God and love people. BE AN EXAMPLE - its the best way. I am thinking forgiveness and grace is priority to teach her, and Gemma, and Calvin, and any others as well. Ellie is developing fast. Potty training may have failed, but she is excelling in everything else crazy fast! Her speech is growing and she is developing sentences and is able to communicate really well. She loves to run and jump and spin. She can color, play with playdough, thread beads. My favorite phrases - "See how it works" "No you do it (when she wants help)" "Bless you Mama" "Bless you sister" "May I have crackers" "thank you mama" She loves to help me put the dishes away and she loves to set the table. Discipline is often changing, as new things are always coming up. Finding out the heart of the matter is tricky. i wish I could read her heart like God knows our heart in order to be the perfect disciplinary. hmm....I need to pray for His wisdom in this.



Gemma is also growing at rapid rates! She isn't quite walking yet, but is so very close! She is talking a lot too, much quicker than Ellie had started. She can say dog, all done, mama, dada, night night, hat. She can sign more, all done, dog, bird, please, help, hat, drink, eat. Now, the thing about Gemma is she has a screech!! Boy is it loud! She screeches when she is happy, frustrated, sad, mad, excited. Oy, is it ear piercing!! Taylor and I think she might be a tad bit more emotional than Ellie, not bad at all! Just different. But now that we know her screeching is trying to tell us something, we have been working a lot more with teaching her signs, which she is picking up easier and using more often. She is a stinker, but goodness I love her so much. Gemma and I have actually had this past weekend to ourselves, well with Daddy too. My parents took Ellie to their house to spend with her for a few days. Its been good for us because Gemma has gotten to play with her toys without Ellie taking them away from her. It is kinda funny because every time that she does try to take something from her, Gemma uses that screech and holds on for dear life!

Birthday Party

I am embarrassed to say that I am just now posting about our girls' birthday party that happened over a month ago! Our Gemma Bean is 1 and Ellie is 2! We had a great time with some great friends! Thank you everyone for your generosity! It means a lot to have people love our girls!

Den Renovation - Beginnings and Frustrations

Our den renovation has started! And stalled...and begun again, and has stalled again... But I understand that is how these things go. Some friends of ours came over and helped with the demo of the den. We are so thankful for their help! Not only does it get done faster, but the company is awesome as well :)





My wonderful dad came and helped with a lot of different stuff, including electrical and putting the wall up, which helps to make things more real.




Now, we are waiting on the contractor and his crew to put up wallboard and and replace the windows and stuff. I know these things take time, but I was really hoping that this would be done before the baby got here, but it isn't looking like that is going to happen. But, "Do everything without complaining or arguing..." (Phil. 2:14). I live in a house - we are able to make repairs - the renovation isn't even in the mainstream of our house, so not in the way. It'll get done. So no worries.

Powder Everywhere!

I am enjoying a peaceful afternoon nap. House is "mostly" cleaned, no dinner to be prepped right now, and kids are asleep. At least that is what i thought. I heard something fall to the floor, and a little "uh-oh" then "mama i stuck". Oh gosh. I walk in, and lo and behold, there is baby powder EVERYWHERE!! I am thinking "go ahead and laugh now or you won't be able to get through this." Ellie looks at me like she is mildly pleased with herself. She had moved the bed to the changing table, which she knows NOT to do. I am thinking, "Well I am at least going to spank her for that..." It is all over the floor, the rug, the changing time, at least 4 dolls, at least 5 shoes, all in the diaper/wipe holder, all over her face and hair, and it is just everywhere. I soon discover you can not sweep this stuff up; it is everywhere! Ellie wants to help clean it up, and carries the dust pan to the trash, trips over the carpet, and yep, drops the powder even more on the rug. Oh boy. As I am sighing at my failed attempt to clean anything up, she is asking "What happened mama?" WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT HAPPENED??!!! Aahh!!

Why am I awake at 3:30 in the morning? I am so tired, yet here I am, my mind is spinning of too many crazy things. I woke up about an hour ago trying to figure out where our camera was. I haven't been able to find it for the past couple of weeks, tearing the house apart to no luck. So I got up and went outside into the cold pouring rain to check the truck, and lo and behold there it was!! So I am here awake, still, went to get a glass of water, and the smell of dirty dishes is getting to me, ick. The unending chore of dishes... I am getting a dishwasher on Friday! Glorious! Our house has shifted. So some of our doors don't close all the way at all. Our bedroom door now does close. This all brings me to the main reason I am awake, or at least think I am awake - house renovations. We are planning on a pretty big project in March. We are redoing the den, and making it into two rooms, and my biggest fear is fire. A house down the street from us caught on fire. I am not sure of the damage, but it looks like it started in the garage. I really hope everyone made it out - I need to find out. So my fear has increased since this accident. My trust in the Lord is once again being tested. I confessed a while ago that I have a hard time completely trusting the Lord with my children. Can He protect my kids and our house from fire? Absolutely. Will he? Who knows?

Of course, what would a Norton blog be without an update on my children? Haha - once again this is for me mostly! I want to remember because sometimes the time just goes by so quickly, everything seems like a blur. This time I will start with the middle child :)

Our Gemma bean is growing, and I know she knows way more than she is letting on. She isn't quite walking yet, but is standing up, and can sometimes stand on her own. She can wave good bye. She knows the signs more, eat, and all done. She can say uh-oh, mama, and dada, and we think dog. She knows how to brush hair. And I think she was feeding her baby doll a bottle yesterday :) Her biggest thing is necklaces and this silly hello kitty purse. Now that I found my camera, I will get a picture of it. But she constantly has this purse on and the necklace. I love it. She has a really high pitched scream, and it gets pretty bad at the dinner table. I keep warning her once she turns 1, that the spanks will come and she better straighten up. I wonder if she is waiting until then...?

Baby Cal is growing, and I am feeling him more often now, which brings me relief. I was kinda worried there for a little while because I didn't feel him move at all. Taylor thinks he is going to be a little guy. I think he is just chill. I am so looking forward to meeting him. I know the time will fly by, especially with this huge house project we are planning on completing before he gets here. The preparation for that will make time go fast. I just can't believe its a boy. A boy. We are going to have a .. son... I am in awe. Strangely, I am looking forward to the few days we will be in the hospital, just us. It is getting pretty crazy around the house making sure I am spending individual time with each child, and it probably won't happen often that I will be able to snuggle him in without competition.

Ellie is growing my leaps and bounds! She is now 2 years old. Wowsers. We have completely given up on potty training, not that she was horrible, but after 3 accidents within 30 minutes yesterday, I threw in the towel. She is talking and talking and talking and I love it. Her "cuss" word is 'gosh'. I said it one time when I dropped something, and it stuck. So when she drops something, or something happens unexpectedly, its 'GOSH!' Haha. It could be worse. I can't even say everything she knows, because it is SO much. She knows the signs to the alphabet, and can recognize most letters. However, her colors are really weak. Oh well, we will work on it. It is just funny she hasn't picked up as fast as letters. She says "oatmeal" in a really low voice, and it cracks me up. When we were eating breakfast a couple of weeks ago, she was concerned that my cereal was to hot, and she would look at me with a concerned face and ask "is it hot again? Okay, I blow." and she would insist on blowing on my cereal. I love it. She recognizes people a lot better. On her birthday, she kept saying "Happy Birthday!" She did really good blowing out her candles on her "new years eve" cake that we bought because it was on sale. We are starting "school" where we work on the numbers, letters, colors, shapes, etc for a solid minimum 15 minutes a day and we are going to start increasing time of focus as she gets older in preparation for the real deal. She is a little mommy. Watching out for her sister mostly. Whenever Gems cries, she fetches her "keek".

Hm, I am sitting here trying to decipher how I am. I am good. At times I feel like I am not making an impact, but I try to remember my biggest impact I can make right now are the two little ones that I am having to give 100% care to, three to count the one in my tummy. But at the end of the day, I can't help but think about my little contact with the rest of the world. Let alone impact on it. I have my friends, whom I treasure. I know I don't call a lot of them often enough...

Anyway, on to tomorrow. Or today, which will begin in a few hours, and I know I need to get a couple more hours of sleep.

Our baby boy

We found out we are expecting a boy! As soon as we could tell in the sonogram, I was kind of in awe - like really, a boy? I was even more thankful to see that little boy squirming and moving so much on the screen. I have not felt this baby move as much as I did the girls, if at all. And although I tried not to worry, and to trust all was in God's hands, in the back of my mind I was worried. Life is so fragile (yet so complex and has the will to survive). But I know that life is temporary, and that it is not guaranteed. Having gone through a miscarriage and having so many I know go through a miscarriage or even inability to have children, I often struggle with the whys and reluctance to give my children completely to the Lord. Or even when I hear about bad things that happen to children. Why would God allow such an evil thing to a child so helpless and unable to defend themselves? Yes, I know there is evil and sin in the world, but still I struggle with this at times. When I confessed my unfaithfulness to trust God with our kids to my husband, he looked at me bewildered, and asked what else would we do? We have no control. Only God does. He is the Creator of the world, and the Maker of each fiber of me and my children, so why wouldn't I completely trust Him with His children? And with that, I realized that he was right. God is God, and He is ultimately in control. But to see him kick and move and toss his hands back and forth, I was so thankful and relieved that he was alive and that his heart was beating.

We are probably going to name him Calvin Locke. Calvin is Taylor's grandfather's name, and Locke is my dad's middle name. So Calvin Locke Norton, I think a pretty strong name. I am super excited to meet him. I have not been taking pictures of my "belly progress", and I hope he isn't offended. I don't think he will be, and it is silly of me to think of something so insignificant as that, but I feel kind of bad. The whole next child without as many pictures thing going on.

My night while my husband was away

Thought I would share this. This was a couple of weeks ago while Taylor went to band practice. He leaves after dinner. I get kids cleaned up, and think no to the baths tonight. just a video night. So, I get to washing dishes, and Ellie runs in yelling POTTY. So I say okay let's go potty! And begin to rush her to the potty. Oh no...she had already GONE potty, and as go down the hallway, there is a MASSIVE puddle, and Gemma is playing in it. Oh yes. So I decide bath time it is. Throw both kids in the bath. I take Gemma out to get her dressed first. And tell Ellie not to throw water out of the tub. Of course I know yeah right. So I run to get Gemma dressed and come back and there is a pool of water on the floor. Palm to the face. So give her a swat. Then go to get another towel to clean up, come back and Ellie is pouring more water on Gemma and her nice clean DRY pajamas. AAHHH!! So give Ellie another swat. DRAIN TUB. Change Gemma, and put her in the crib much to her dislike. Then go and get Ellie and get her in pajamas. Meanwhile Gemma has pulled herself up to the standing position! Yay! Go Gemma! SO I hurry to celebrate with her. Then I went to get Ellie's blanket, come back and Ellie is saying oh potty and pulling her pants down. I try to tell her not to worry she is wearing a diaper, but she pulls her pants off, and much to my dismay....oh no she isn't because mom forgot to put on her diaper. So now pee all over the rug and floor. So after throwing both kids into bed both screaming and I sit down. I think okay that was all kinda funny. So I went and read books and sang to Ellie and then went and did the same with Gemma. How single parents or one parent does it while their spouse is deployed is beyond me. That was crazy and one night was enough for me.

Thankfulness continued.

8. Taylor's job - it is enough to provide our needs..and some wants too although we do not deserve it.

9. Lifepoint - a great group of people whom we fellowship with, mourn with, and celebrate with. Love doing life with these people.

10. Angie Mo - my best friend. Love learning how to be a friend, although I know I make a ton of mistakes. She is a great support and encourager and I am thankful to have her.

11. the Rose family - they are the first family to show me the seriousness and realness of a relationship with Christ.

12. Courtney Bunyard - she is the one to invite me to VIDA NUEVA, where I accepted Christ as my Savior.

13. My friends along the journey - my Louisiana friends - Shellie and Katie. My Oki friends - Rhiannon, Kristina, and Colleen. My Cali friends - Debi and Mandy. There are so many many more, but these guys have kept in touch with me to some degree, and I am thankful to call them friends.

14. Soccer - I love the sport and miss playing so much.

15. Freedom - to make my own choices, to worship Jesus, and to have rights that many many people have fought and died for.

16. My failures - although I say that through gritted teeth, I know each failure has taught me a lot about who I am and who God has called me to be.

17. Grace - because of my failures and bad choices.

18. Bread - I love carbs.

Well instead of making up stuff, I am going to stop here.

To be Grateful: 7 days

I don't even know where to begin...things have been exciting, tiring, interesting, and crazy. I am almost 16 weeks far along in this pregnancy, and this pregnancy has been a lot different than the girls'. With the girls, I was sick right at 6 weeks, and it lasted right until 14 weeks. With Gemma, I think it lasted a few days longer. I didn't even start getting sick until 8 weeks ish. But it has just been so up and down, as far as morning sickness goes. I am tired all the time. I am just now starting to get to the point where I don't want to sleep all day. My mom has been incredibly awesome. I went down there for five days, and then she came back up with me and stayed an additional three days, and just took care of the girls and let me sleep and sit and read and just zone out, which I think my body needed. I had been running on empty for quite a while. I hate that because I feel like I couldn't be there for Ellie and Gemma 100%. I was slacking in the discipline area with Ellie, and that was starting to show. Gemma is such a mama's girl, and I could tell she was craving that one on one. I am trying to stop complaining because this is just the way its going to be. I am going to have to just get over it. Things won't get done, and that is okay. But I still need to get up, with a smile!, and attack the day, and take care of the girls.

Ellie has been changing so quickly! Her vocabulary is expanding, and she is starting to say sentences. "Here ya go" "I be back" "I need help" She is also learning a TON of signs. We have started watching the alphabet one, and she can do B, and she recognizes P. It is so fun. She says thank you pretty much on her own now. We have to remind her still, but definitely not as much. She says please on her own now. Although she does whine and stuff when we say no. Sometimes she will start off whining when she wants something. But for the most part, she uses her words and signs extremely well! She is a great sister. I love watching her protect and care for Gemma, and Ellie pronounces it with the G, as in get (only word i can think of haha). She shares with her, mostly. If Gemma is sitting and playing, Ellie will gather all the toys for her. If I am holding Gemma and she is crying, Ellie will go get her "keek" (blanket) and her frog to comfort her. If Gemma is getting into something she shouldn't, I hear "No MOM" (how she pronounces ma'am), and she runs to get me. Could be a potential tattle tale, but for now, it has only been if Gemma is chewing on something she shouldn't or some other life threatening thing. However, Gemma is also changing and growing and fending for herself. Ellie does like to just take toys from her that she believes is hers. But Gemma crawls over to her, and takes it back. Teaching sharing is tough, but we are working on it. Gemma also likes to be in everything Ellie is. If Ellie is building a tower, Gemma will crawl over and starting taking the pieces, much to Ellie's frustration. Their favorite game is crawling together. Ellie will say crawl, and then get Gemma to chase her, which she does happily.

Gemma has reached a milestone in our house, which is climbing up the stairs from the den to the kitchen! She is also starting to learn more and all done signs. I think she might be getting more, but it could be a fluke too. I love my girls.

Let's see, we are in November, the month to recall what you are thankful for. Let me give this a shot -

1. I am thankful for a God who loves me and a Jesus who paid it all so that I can be with Him in Heaven. He has given me purpose for living, and for now, strength for the day, and hope for the future. I try to live my life to reflect His glory, although I fail most of the time. But I am thankful that He is a forgiving God.

2. I am thankful for my family. I love my parents both so much, and thankful God chose them to raise me. They have done, and continue doing so much for Taylor and I that we will never be able to show how much we appreciate them. My sister and I are so so different, yet we find a way to hang out and enjoy each other. We have been through our years of fighting, and our years of friendship, and we definitely find that we prefer the latter.

3. I am thankful for my husband, Taylor, who is kind, confident, and caring. He loves me and loves our girls. I am truly blessed for that. He works hard to provide for us. But he "works to live, not lives to work", and I appreciate that about him. He is sensitive to my needs, and he always looks to resolve any problem we may have. I love him for more than this, and I can not wait to grow older with him.

4. I am thankful for Ellie, my firstborn sweet girl. She is a HUGE blessing, and I am so thankful that God chose Taylor and I to be her parents. She is so sweet, and so kind, and I am thrilled to see her as she grows.

5. I am thankful for Gemma, my sweet mama's girl. I picked her up from childcare last night, and she saw me, got a huge smile on her face and crawled her way towards me - it made me so proud and so thankful that she loves me too.

6. I am thankful for this little one growing inside of me. I don't know if it is a him or a her yet, but a life nonetheless, and God is growing him or her to be exactly the way God wants him or her. And I am thankful for another little arrow in my quiver.

7. I am thankful for Taylor's family. They have accepted me for who I am, and for that I am truly grateful. They love each other, they love us, and they love the girls. They strive to be there for us even though they live so far away. Mike and Sue have been amazing, and I love them so much!

All for now!

Sleep when babies sleep is a MUST

So last week was exhausting and hard, but I got through it. I guess it all started the Friday before. Not only was my nausea through the roof, but my allergies had kicked into full swing, I couldn't breathe through my nose at all, my body ached, and I was just plain miserable. I wanted to sleep all day, and I probably could too. One hard thing about being a stay-at-home mom is that you do not really get a sick day. (I am not intending to exclude working moms, I am just speaking as a SAH mom, because that's what I am.) My girls saw me throw so many fits that day...I was acting like such a baby. I did a lot of apologizing, mostly to Ellie, for much of my behavior and crying fits. Of course, I spent a lot of time over the toilet, and bless Ellie's heart, she hugged my leg, and just repeated "I sorry..I sorry.." I called Taylor and was just "come home please!" Bless his heart, he made it work, and came home a couple hours early from work, and what a help that was! I was feeling much better and less like a crazy person after a much needed nap. My friend brought her kids over, and the kids just had a blast playing with chalk and in the dirt.

The next week (last week) was just difficult... I could not wait for nap time, I didn't have any energy, and it was definitely a video type of day every day. I am so thankful for my girls though and just the joy that they are. Ellie snuggled with me and gave me so many hugs. Gems was just a good girl, nothing too crazy.

They are really starting to play together and it is awesome. It makes my heart happy. Gemma definitely has a bit of temper. I remember Ellie getting upset about taking something away from her that she wanted, but Gems grunts and furrows her brow. It will be interesting to watch her grow. The "discipline" has now started with her because she is CRAWLING now! And getting into EVERYTHING, and her favorite is paper! GROSS! Wet paper is like the grossest thing ever, and it makes me gag. Wipes do not count. I am fine with wipes. Ick. But anyway, but she is sitting up and crawling. She kinda crawls with a peg leg. She has her right leg straight and out to the side, and crawls like that.

I am now 11-1/2 weeks pregnant as well with our third precious child! This pregnancy has been so different...not throwing up all the time, but definitely can hardly eat, nausea lasts all day, and I am SO tired, ALL the time. My body aches a lot more, and it probably has a lot to do with having three so close together...my poor body... I've also gone numb in my face a couple times, which is a new thing. My doc says next time it happens to go to the ER....ummm...okay?? Stroke? really? Nothing since I have talked to the doc, except a twitching eye, probably unrelated....

Anyway, trying to catch up with my life, but as I write this, I am watching the clock and thinking, I am losing valuable nap time! So I am going to sleep! Nappy nap!

Another Milestone!

Well, Ellie started to give that look like she was concentrating really hard. And I had to go to the bathroom, so I took her in there with me. I took off her diaper and had her sit on the potty, and then gave her a book to read. After I finished, I got up and told Ellie 'come on, let's go get your FuzziBun on', and started to walk out of the bathroom. She got up and came to me but was saying "Mo Mo" and doing the sign for more. Went to my toilet and lifted up the seat, and then sat down on her potty and did the sign again, saying "Mo Mo" So I went and sat down and we both started reading our books again. And then she did the face, and peed on the potty!!! I started screaming, and she smiled and looked at me like I was crazy!! I was so excited I forgot all about the whole wiping and flushing the toilet again. I gave her a couple of cookies and started to make calls telling about our awesome news!

Just the Two of Us

This weekend Taylor and I got to go away and be ourselves for an entire weekend! It was perfect!! And so much needed! We got up and said good bye to our lovely ladies on Friday morning. Don't worry, we left them under the care of the fabulous Oma, and knew they would be in good hands. We spent the weekend in Dallas, not TOO far away, but enough that it was a getaway. Our first destination was the King Spa. We had a lot of fun. We got a couple's massage, ate Korean food, and just relaxed. It was a perfect start. Then we left to get checked in to our hotel. After a short nap, we went to the Thomas Avenue Beverage Company. It was really good! Taylor got a burger, and I got the fish tacos. I also asked the bartender to make me something girly and fruity to drink, and that was awesome too! Then we went to see Cowboys and Aliens, which was quite entertaining. It was interesting being downtown and seeing everyone wearing work out clothes and their ipods but no one was actually running...must just be a style thing...haha. So that was Friday. Saturday, we got up and went to eat at the Breadwinners. Now that place was awesome, and very busy. But we sat at the bar so got immediate sitting. We both got the eggs benedict, and it was delicious. Then we went to the Dallas Zoo, which is actually really good! There is cover nearly everywhere, and it was kinda sprinkling so it was not too hot. We stopped to watch the flight show, and we witnessed a volunteer get chased into the pool by chickens. It was hilarious!! After the zoo, we went home took another nap. Then we went to the Saltgrass Steakhouse, and then went to three different Studio Movie Grills to try to experience that coolness, but no luck! First was shut down - it had moved to a different location. The second was not the one we had looked up and the movie started thirty minutes, and by the time we got to the third location, the movie we wanted to see was sold out! So no luck and the conclusion of our evening. But it was all still fun. We just jammed and rocked out to music and danced in our seats during the drive. Good time together. We came home on Sunday so EXCITED to see our girls. I enjoyed having a complete day of no responsibilities. My mom did wonderful with the girls! And the girls slept in the same room the whole time. So now to start off the week doing what I do! Laters!

Wedding Vows

We are coming up on our 5th Year Anniversary! August 5, 2006. I thought I would share our vows that we wrote on our own.

"I take you, Amanda, to be my wife. I vow to cherish and respect you unconditionally for all the days of my life. I believe the Lord has placed you in my life to be my partner in marriage. I promise to provide for you spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I will protect you and sacrifice for you when I am weak, as well as when I am strong. I promise to be a good father and to raise our children in a loving Christian home. I promise to hare my entire life with you, and to be completely honest in everything I say and do. I promise to respect all your dreams and goals, and to encourage you when you need it most. I promise, that in every situation, no matter what has been said or done, I will keep faith, act in love and honor the relationship of marriage we have entered into. I love you, Amanda, and in the name of God, this is my solemn vow." ~ Taylor

"I take you, Taylor, to be my husband. I vow to cherish and respect you unconditionally for all the days of my life. I believe the Lord has placed you in my life to be my partner in marriage. I realize marriages are not perfect; we are not perfect. I know we will go through hard times, sometimes to difficult to bear, whether it be finances or sicknesses. But I know we all also go through great times, like having children and growing old together. I can't promise to be a perfect wife. There will be times when I am wrong, times when I am mean, and times when I am distant. But, right now, I am promising to honor this relationship, and trust the Lord that this our covenant to each other til death due us part. I promise to love you and stand by your side. I promise to support your goals and dreams, and to encourage you when you are weak and when you are strong. And I will go to the Lord in prayer for your strength and wisdom, and that you may be filled with the Spirit of God, and I will submit to what you think is best. I promise to be forgiving and share my life with you in faithfulness. I love you, Taylor. And, in the name of God, this is my solemn vow."

Violated

So...yesterday was a pretty bad day. I have been feeling really good and then every once in a while (more often recently), I have been in a pretty sour mood - kind of depressed like. I know it has a lot to do with hormones, but sometimes it is hard to shake the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy, selfishness, short temper, mean sarcasm, and my imperfections shine even more. I feel like Paul when he says he wants to do right, but can't. Not only that, but I have been waking up in the middle of the night and unable to get back to sleep. Instead of staring at the ceiling, I do get up and read and pray. But then I am sleep deprived, adding to the hormones.

Yesterday, I took Ellie outside to play in the sprinkler, and she was so excited. I noticed that the back gate was open. Thinking it was weird, I went to close it to protect my daughter and keep her and the dog from escaping. That is when I noticed that the shed door was wide open and a huge vacant spot where our mower usually sat. I just prayed that Taylor took it to the front yard for whatever reason, knowing though that it wasn't the case. Then the waterworks started... I called Taylor and carried my daughter into the house and just sobbed. Ellie was being so sweet, and I was so angry and cursing this unknown thief. I put her in the pack-n-play with a bunch of toys and a video and went to the other room and just cried. I was so angry! I prayed and prayed, but not for me to have a heart of forgiveness and mercy, but for justice and for whoever this was to fail at whatever purpose he was going to use this lawn mower and weed-eater (yep, stolen too) for. I just feel so violated. And then as the day went on, I felt worse because of my own sinful reaction. Then, I felt physically even worse from all the crying, so then I ate whatever I wanted - fast food was easiest. Eating this all day made me feel even worse.... Spiral downwards....

Today is a new day. I realized I missed my baby girls. In my emotional craziness, I missed out on Day 560 of Ellie's life and Day 173 of Gemma's life. Seems like just a day, but each day is so valuable! I do NOT want to take for granted the time I have with them. I want to choose life today and not to sulk. If something like a stolen lawn mower comes up again, as small as it is, I need to take it to the Lord, leave it as His feet, and then trust He will provide, in whatever way He sees fit. Easier said than done. I am so thankful God still loves a sinner like me. And He still loves whoever that thief was. Gar. Lord, help me. Even as I type this, my heart still needs some changing towards the subject....

To Record for Me: 07/12/2011

Gemma tucked her knees under her today! Love you baby! Slow down on that growing though shoogs! Ellie is learning new signs and saying new things!

Signs: mom, dad, sorry, frog, help, and much much more!

Says: I sorry. I stuck. Whassat? Go.

Celebrations

I'm a little bored, and I remembered I haven't posted on this in a few days. Not too much is new with this family. We have made a few goals. We both realized that we don't really have goals and in order to feel like we are aiming at something, we set a few. I want to sign up for a Swamp Foot Race in September while we are in Michigan. It is going to be the Saturday before Austin and Erin's wedding. I am super excited. It is a four mile foot race, except you go over lots of obstacles. So I am beginning the training for that. Taylor is as well. Oh yeah! I spent a while in Michigan, and just got back from that. It was really good. I enjoyed spending time with Taylor's family, and they were able to enjoy the babies. We also celebrated Austin and Erin by throwing them (really her haha) a wedding shower. Leah and I hosted it, and we played the Price is Right and the Spice is Right. I thought everything went really well, and I think that Erin got a few things to help them set up. It is always such a HUGE blessing to have that help. I remember it all too well, and I am so thankful for those people who blessed us so much. we are still using most everything given to us :) I am very stoked for their wedding 9-10-11!! We are going to spend two weeks up there, which is something Taylor has not been able to do in a while, so we are super excited for that!! Girls are good. I love being their mom. Although, I do wish I was a better mom at times. They are a delight, and God convict me if I ever complain. Thank you Lord for my two girls.

update #3

Ellie - 16 and a half months

- things she says: kaka (cracker), Sha (Shanks our dog), mil (milk), oose (juice), dah dah (dog dog), men (amen), and ana (banana), b (bird)

- things she signs: more, please, milk, juice, dog, book, cracker, blanket, hat, sleep, eat, help, banana, water, bird

- climbs everything

- gives kisses

- waves byebye

Gemma - 4 months

- is sleeping until 6am

- can roll over back to front

- babbles and coos :)

- smiles and laughs

hurt feelings

i love friendships. i love hanging out with the girls and talking about nonsense and love being able to share the deeper heart issues. in church for the past few months, we have been talking about real jesus encounters and how we can be real friends with other people. i have been thinking a lot about this and different ways i can be a true friend, but i am struggling because sometimes friendships take some work. and what i have been dealing with a lot lately is friendships not being recipricated. i feel like on my end that i would consider them a good friend, or someone that i want to get to know more, but they have already forgotten about me.... i know this is shallow, but i start to think am i not smart enough? am i not pretty enough? am i not stylish enough? am i not funny enough? i guess i feel like i am on someones checklist sometimes too. i hate that. i should know that a lot of friendships are seasonal. when do i speak up and say hey you hurt my feelings. i dont want people to feel obligated to hang out with me, or pay attention to me,when i know they just have other friends. in other words - this is just me being too selfish? i dont know. jesus, sometimes i wonder if i am that person with you. just like i dont want to be an item to check off your list of hanging out with today, i know you dont want to be on a checklist either. give me the wisdom to know when i am doing that to you or others and also when i should confront a friend.