We found out we are expecting a boy! As soon as we could tell in the sonogram, I was kind of in awe - like really, a boy? I was even more thankful to see that little boy squirming and moving so much on the screen. I have not felt this baby move as much as I did the girls, if at all. And although I tried not to worry, and to trust all was in God's hands, in the back of my mind I was worried. Life is so fragile (yet so complex and has the will to survive). But I know that life is temporary, and that it is not guaranteed. Having gone through a miscarriage and having so many I know go through a miscarriage or even inability to have children, I often struggle with the whys and reluctance to give my children completely to the Lord. Or even when I hear about bad things that happen to children. Why would God allow such an evil thing to a child so helpless and unable to defend themselves? Yes, I know there is evil and sin in the world, but still I struggle with this at times. When I confessed my unfaithfulness to trust God with our kids to my husband, he looked at me bewildered, and asked what else would we do? We have no control. Only God does. He is the Creator of the world, and the Maker of each fiber of me and my children, so why wouldn't I completely trust Him with His children? And with that, I realized that he was right. God is God, and He is ultimately in control. But to see him kick and move and toss his hands back and forth, I was so thankful and relieved that he was alive and that his heart was beating.
We are probably going to name him Calvin Locke. Calvin is Taylor's grandfather's name, and Locke is my dad's middle name. So Calvin Locke Norton, I think a pretty strong name. I am super excited to meet him. I have not been taking pictures of my "belly progress", and I hope he isn't offended. I don't think he will be, and it is silly of me to think of something so insignificant as that, but I feel kind of bad. The whole next child without as many pictures thing going on.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
My night while my husband was away
Thought I would share this. This was a couple of weeks ago while Taylor went to band practice. He leaves after dinner. I get kids cleaned up, and think no to the baths tonight. just a video night. So, I get to washing dishes, and Ellie runs in yelling POTTY. So I say okay let's go potty! And begin to rush her to the potty. Oh no...she had already GONE potty, and as go down the hallway, there is a MASSIVE puddle, and Gemma is playing in it. Oh yes. So I decide bath time it is. Throw both kids in the bath. I take Gemma out to get her dressed first. And tell Ellie not to throw water out of the tub. Of course I know yeah right. So I run to get Gemma dressed and come back and there is a pool of water on the floor. Palm to the face. So give her a swat. Then go to get another towel to clean up, come back and Ellie is pouring more water on Gemma and her nice clean DRY pajamas. AAHHH!! So give Ellie another swat. DRAIN TUB. Change Gemma, and put her in the crib much to her dislike. Then go and get Ellie and get her in pajamas. Meanwhile Gemma has pulled herself up to the standing position! Yay! Go Gemma! SO I hurry to celebrate with her. Then I went to get Ellie's blanket, come back and Ellie is saying oh potty and pulling her pants down. I try to tell her not to worry she is wearing a diaper, but she pulls her pants off, and much to my dismay....oh no she isn't because mom forgot to put on her diaper. So now pee all over the rug and floor. So after throwing both kids into bed both screaming and I sit down. I think okay that was all kinda funny. So I went and read books and sang to Ellie and then went and did the same with Gemma. How single parents or one parent does it while their spouse is deployed is beyond me. That was crazy and one night was enough for me.
Thankfulness continued.
8. Taylor's job - it is enough to provide our needs..and some wants too although we do not deserve it.
9. Lifepoint - a great group of people whom we fellowship with, mourn with, and celebrate with. Love doing life with these people.
10. Angie Mo - my best friend. Love learning how to be a friend, although I know I make a ton of mistakes. She is a great support and encourager and I am thankful to have her.
11. the Rose family - they are the first family to show me the seriousness and realness of a relationship with Christ.
12. Courtney Bunyard - she is the one to invite me to VIDA NUEVA, where I accepted Christ as my Savior.
13. My friends along the journey - my Louisiana friends - Shellie and Katie. My Oki friends - Rhiannon, Kristina, and Colleen. My Cali friends - Debi and Mandy. There are so many many more, but these guys have kept in touch with me to some degree, and I am thankful to call them friends.
14. Soccer - I love the sport and miss playing so much.
15. Freedom - to make my own choices, to worship Jesus, and to have rights that many many people have fought and died for.
16. My failures - although I say that through gritted teeth, I know each failure has taught me a lot about who I am and who God has called me to be.
17. Grace - because of my failures and bad choices.
18. Bread - I love carbs.
Well instead of making up stuff, I am going to stop here.
9. Lifepoint - a great group of people whom we fellowship with, mourn with, and celebrate with. Love doing life with these people.
10. Angie Mo - my best friend. Love learning how to be a friend, although I know I make a ton of mistakes. She is a great support and encourager and I am thankful to have her.
11. the Rose family - they are the first family to show me the seriousness and realness of a relationship with Christ.
12. Courtney Bunyard - she is the one to invite me to VIDA NUEVA, where I accepted Christ as my Savior.
13. My friends along the journey - my Louisiana friends - Shellie and Katie. My Oki friends - Rhiannon, Kristina, and Colleen. My Cali friends - Debi and Mandy. There are so many many more, but these guys have kept in touch with me to some degree, and I am thankful to call them friends.
14. Soccer - I love the sport and miss playing so much.
15. Freedom - to make my own choices, to worship Jesus, and to have rights that many many people have fought and died for.
16. My failures - although I say that through gritted teeth, I know each failure has taught me a lot about who I am and who God has called me to be.
17. Grace - because of my failures and bad choices.
18. Bread - I love carbs.
Well instead of making up stuff, I am going to stop here.
Monday, November 7, 2011
To be Grateful: 7 days
I don't even know where to begin...things have been exciting, tiring, interesting, and crazy. I am almost 16 weeks far along in this pregnancy, and this pregnancy has been a lot different than the girls'. With the girls, I was sick right at 6 weeks, and it lasted right until 14 weeks. With Gemma, I think it lasted a few days longer. I didn't even start getting sick until 8 weeks ish. But it has just been so up and down, as far as morning sickness goes. I am tired all the time. I am just now starting to get to the point where I don't want to sleep all day. My mom has been incredibly awesome. I went down there for five days, and then she came back up with me and stayed an additional three days, and just took care of the girls and let me sleep and sit and read and just zone out, which I think my body needed. I had been running on empty for quite a while. I hate that because I feel like I couldn't be there for Ellie and Gemma 100%. I was slacking in the discipline area with Ellie, and that was starting to show. Gemma is such a mama's girl, and I could tell she was craving that one on one. I am trying to stop complaining because this is just the way its going to be. I am going to have to just get over it. Things won't get done, and that is okay. But I still need to get up, with a smile!, and attack the day, and take care of the girls.
Ellie has been changing so quickly! Her vocabulary is expanding, and she is starting to say sentences. "Here ya go" "I be back" "I need help" She is also learning a TON of signs. We have started watching the alphabet one, and she can do B, and she recognizes P. It is so fun. She says thank you pretty much on her own now. We have to remind her still, but definitely not as much. She says please on her own now. Although she does whine and stuff when we say no. Sometimes she will start off whining when she wants something. But for the most part, she uses her words and signs extremely well! She is a great sister. I love watching her protect and care for Gemma, and Ellie pronounces it with the G, as in get (only word i can think of haha). She shares with her, mostly. If Gemma is sitting and playing, Ellie will gather all the toys for her. If I am holding Gemma and she is crying, Ellie will go get her "keek" (blanket) and her frog to comfort her. If Gemma is getting into something she shouldn't, I hear "No MOM" (how she pronounces ma'am), and she runs to get me. Could be a potential tattle tale, but for now, it has only been if Gemma is chewing on something she shouldn't or some other life threatening thing. However, Gemma is also changing and growing and fending for herself. Ellie does like to just take toys from her that she believes is hers. But Gemma crawls over to her, and takes it back. Teaching sharing is tough, but we are working on it. Gemma also likes to be in everything Ellie is. If Ellie is building a tower, Gemma will crawl over and starting taking the pieces, much to Ellie's frustration. Their favorite game is crawling together. Ellie will say crawl, and then get Gemma to chase her, which she does happily.
Gemma has reached a milestone in our house, which is climbing up the stairs from the den to the kitchen! She is also starting to learn more and all done signs. I think she might be getting more, but it could be a fluke too. I love my girls.
Let's see, we are in November, the month to recall what you are thankful for. Let me give this a shot -
1. I am thankful for a God who loves me and a Jesus who paid it all so that I can be with Him in Heaven. He has given me purpose for living, and for now, strength for the day, and hope for the future. I try to live my life to reflect His glory, although I fail most of the time. But I am thankful that He is a forgiving God.
2. I am thankful for my family. I love my parents both so much, and thankful God chose them to raise me. They have done, and continue doing so much for Taylor and I that we will never be able to show how much we appreciate them. My sister and I are so so different, yet we find a way to hang out and enjoy each other. We have been through our years of fighting, and our years of friendship, and we definitely find that we prefer the latter.
3. I am thankful for my husband, Taylor, who is kind, confident, and caring. He loves me and loves our girls. I am truly blessed for that. He works hard to provide for us. But he "works to live, not lives to work", and I appreciate that about him. He is sensitive to my needs, and he always looks to resolve any problem we may have. I love him for more than this, and I can not wait to grow older with him.
4. I am thankful for Ellie, my firstborn sweet girl. She is a HUGE blessing, and I am so thankful that God chose Taylor and I to be her parents. She is so sweet, and so kind, and I am thrilled to see her as she grows.
5. I am thankful for Gemma, my sweet mama's girl. I picked her up from childcare last night, and she saw me, got a huge smile on her face and crawled her way towards me - it made me so proud and so thankful that she loves me too.
6. I am thankful for this little one growing inside of me. I don't know if it is a him or a her yet, but a life nonetheless, and God is growing him or her to be exactly the way God wants him or her. And I am thankful for another little arrow in my quiver.
7. I am thankful for Taylor's family. They have accepted me for who I am, and for that I am truly grateful. They love each other, they love us, and they love the girls. They strive to be there for us even though they live so far away. Mike and Sue have been amazing, and I love them so much!
All for now!
Ellie has been changing so quickly! Her vocabulary is expanding, and she is starting to say sentences. "Here ya go" "I be back" "I need help" She is also learning a TON of signs. We have started watching the alphabet one, and she can do B, and she recognizes P. It is so fun. She says thank you pretty much on her own now. We have to remind her still, but definitely not as much. She says please on her own now. Although she does whine and stuff when we say no. Sometimes she will start off whining when she wants something. But for the most part, she uses her words and signs extremely well! She is a great sister. I love watching her protect and care for Gemma, and Ellie pronounces it with the G, as in get (only word i can think of haha). She shares with her, mostly. If Gemma is sitting and playing, Ellie will gather all the toys for her. If I am holding Gemma and she is crying, Ellie will go get her "keek" (blanket) and her frog to comfort her. If Gemma is getting into something she shouldn't, I hear "No MOM" (how she pronounces ma'am), and she runs to get me. Could be a potential tattle tale, but for now, it has only been if Gemma is chewing on something she shouldn't or some other life threatening thing. However, Gemma is also changing and growing and fending for herself. Ellie does like to just take toys from her that she believes is hers. But Gemma crawls over to her, and takes it back. Teaching sharing is tough, but we are working on it. Gemma also likes to be in everything Ellie is. If Ellie is building a tower, Gemma will crawl over and starting taking the pieces, much to Ellie's frustration. Their favorite game is crawling together. Ellie will say crawl, and then get Gemma to chase her, which she does happily.
Gemma has reached a milestone in our house, which is climbing up the stairs from the den to the kitchen! She is also starting to learn more and all done signs. I think she might be getting more, but it could be a fluke too. I love my girls.
Let's see, we are in November, the month to recall what you are thankful for. Let me give this a shot -
1. I am thankful for a God who loves me and a Jesus who paid it all so that I can be with Him in Heaven. He has given me purpose for living, and for now, strength for the day, and hope for the future. I try to live my life to reflect His glory, although I fail most of the time. But I am thankful that He is a forgiving God.
2. I am thankful for my family. I love my parents both so much, and thankful God chose them to raise me. They have done, and continue doing so much for Taylor and I that we will never be able to show how much we appreciate them. My sister and I are so so different, yet we find a way to hang out and enjoy each other. We have been through our years of fighting, and our years of friendship, and we definitely find that we prefer the latter.
3. I am thankful for my husband, Taylor, who is kind, confident, and caring. He loves me and loves our girls. I am truly blessed for that. He works hard to provide for us. But he "works to live, not lives to work", and I appreciate that about him. He is sensitive to my needs, and he always looks to resolve any problem we may have. I love him for more than this, and I can not wait to grow older with him.
4. I am thankful for Ellie, my firstborn sweet girl. She is a HUGE blessing, and I am so thankful that God chose Taylor and I to be her parents. She is so sweet, and so kind, and I am thrilled to see her as she grows.
5. I am thankful for Gemma, my sweet mama's girl. I picked her up from childcare last night, and she saw me, got a huge smile on her face and crawled her way towards me - it made me so proud and so thankful that she loves me too.
6. I am thankful for this little one growing inside of me. I don't know if it is a him or a her yet, but a life nonetheless, and God is growing him or her to be exactly the way God wants him or her. And I am thankful for another little arrow in my quiver.
7. I am thankful for Taylor's family. They have accepted me for who I am, and for that I am truly grateful. They love each other, they love us, and they love the girls. They strive to be there for us even though they live so far away. Mike and Sue have been amazing, and I love them so much!
All for now!
Monday, October 10, 2011
Sleep when babies sleep is a MUST
So last week was exhausting and hard, but I got through it. I guess it all started the Friday before. Not only was my nausea through the roof, but my allergies had kicked into full swing, I couldn't breathe through my nose at all, my body ached, and I was just plain miserable. I wanted to sleep all day, and I probably could too. One hard thing about being a stay-at-home mom is that you do not really get a sick day. (I am not intending to exclude working moms, I am just speaking as a SAH mom, because that's what I am.) My girls saw me throw so many fits that day...I was acting like such a baby. I did a lot of apologizing, mostly to Ellie, for much of my behavior and crying fits. Of course, I spent a lot of time over the toilet, and bless Ellie's heart, she hugged my leg, and just repeated "I sorry..I sorry.." I called Taylor and was just "come home please!" Bless his heart, he made it work, and came home a couple hours early from work, and what a help that was! I was feeling much better and less like a crazy person after a much needed nap. My friend brought her kids over, and the kids just had a blast playing with chalk and in the dirt.
The next week (last week) was just difficult... I could not wait for nap time, I didn't have any energy, and it was definitely a video type of day every day. I am so thankful for my girls though and just the joy that they are. Ellie snuggled with me and gave me so many hugs. Gems was just a good girl, nothing too crazy.
They are really starting to play together and it is awesome. It makes my heart happy. Gemma definitely has a bit of temper. I remember Ellie getting upset about taking something away from her that she wanted, but Gems grunts and furrows her brow. It will be interesting to watch her grow. The "discipline" has now started with her because she is CRAWLING now! And getting into EVERYTHING, and her favorite is paper! GROSS! Wet paper is like the grossest thing ever, and it makes me gag. Wipes do not count. I am fine with wipes. Ick. But anyway, but she is sitting up and crawling. She kinda crawls with a peg leg. She has her right leg straight and out to the side, and crawls like that.
I am now 11-1/2 weeks pregnant as well with our third precious child! This pregnancy has been so different...not throwing up all the time, but definitely can hardly eat, nausea lasts all day, and I am SO tired, ALL the time. My body aches a lot more, and it probably has a lot to do with having three so close together...my poor body... I've also gone numb in my face a couple times, which is a new thing. My doc says next time it happens to go to the ER....ummm...okay?? Stroke? really? Nothing since I have talked to the doc, except a twitching eye, probably unrelated....
Anyway, trying to catch up with my life, but as I write this, I am watching the clock and thinking, I am losing valuable nap time! So I am going to sleep! Nappy nap!
The next week (last week) was just difficult... I could not wait for nap time, I didn't have any energy, and it was definitely a video type of day every day. I am so thankful for my girls though and just the joy that they are. Ellie snuggled with me and gave me so many hugs. Gems was just a good girl, nothing too crazy.
They are really starting to play together and it is awesome. It makes my heart happy. Gemma definitely has a bit of temper. I remember Ellie getting upset about taking something away from her that she wanted, but Gems grunts and furrows her brow. It will be interesting to watch her grow. The "discipline" has now started with her because she is CRAWLING now! And getting into EVERYTHING, and her favorite is paper! GROSS! Wet paper is like the grossest thing ever, and it makes me gag. Wipes do not count. I am fine with wipes. Ick. But anyway, but she is sitting up and crawling. She kinda crawls with a peg leg. She has her right leg straight and out to the side, and crawls like that.
I am now 11-1/2 weeks pregnant as well with our third precious child! This pregnancy has been so different...not throwing up all the time, but definitely can hardly eat, nausea lasts all day, and I am SO tired, ALL the time. My body aches a lot more, and it probably has a lot to do with having three so close together...my poor body... I've also gone numb in my face a couple times, which is a new thing. My doc says next time it happens to go to the ER....ummm...okay?? Stroke? really? Nothing since I have talked to the doc, except a twitching eye, probably unrelated....
Anyway, trying to catch up with my life, but as I write this, I am watching the clock and thinking, I am losing valuable nap time! So I am going to sleep! Nappy nap!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Another Milestone!
Well, Ellie started to give that look like she was concentrating really hard. And I had to go to the bathroom, so I took her in there with me. I took off her diaper and had her sit on the potty, and then gave her a book to read. After I finished, I got up and told Ellie 'come on, let's go get your FuzziBun on', and started to walk out of the bathroom. She got up and came to me but was saying "Mo Mo" and doing the sign for more. Went to my toilet and lifted up the seat, and then sat down on her potty and did the sign again, saying "Mo Mo" So I went and sat down and we both started reading our books again. And then she did the face, and peed on the potty!!! I started screaming, and she smiled and looked at me like I was crazy!! I was so excited I forgot all about the whole wiping and flushing the toilet again. I gave her a couple of cookies and started to make calls telling about our awesome news!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Just the Two of Us
This weekend Taylor and I got to go away and be ourselves for an entire weekend! It was perfect!! And so much needed! We got up and said good bye to our lovely ladies on Friday morning. Don't worry, we left them under the care of the fabulous Oma, and knew they would be in good hands. We spent the weekend in Dallas, not TOO far away, but enough that it was a getaway. Our first destination was the King Spa. We had a lot of fun. We got a couple's massage, ate Korean food, and just relaxed. It was a perfect start. Then we left to get checked in to our hotel. After a short nap, we went to the Thomas Avenue Beverage Company. It was really good! Taylor got a burger, and I got the fish tacos. I also asked the bartender to make me something girly and fruity to drink, and that was awesome too! Then we went to see Cowboys and Aliens, which was quite entertaining. It was interesting being downtown and seeing everyone wearing work out clothes and their ipods but no one was actually running...must just be a style thing...haha. So that was Friday. Saturday, we got up and went to eat at the Breadwinners. Now that place was awesome, and very busy. But we sat at the bar so got immediate sitting. We both got the eggs benedict, and it was delicious. Then we went to the Dallas Zoo, which is actually really good! There is cover nearly everywhere, and it was kinda sprinkling so it was not too hot. We stopped to watch the flight show, and we witnessed a volunteer get chased into the pool by chickens. It was hilarious!! After the zoo, we went home took another nap. Then we went to the Saltgrass Steakhouse, and then went to three different Studio Movie Grills to try to experience that coolness, but no luck! First was shut down - it had moved to a different location. The second was not the one we had looked up and the movie started thirty minutes, and by the time we got to the third location, the movie we wanted to see was sold out! So no luck and the conclusion of our evening. But it was all still fun. We just jammed and rocked out to music and danced in our seats during the drive. Good time together. We came home on Sunday so EXCITED to see our girls. I enjoyed having a complete day of no responsibilities. My mom did wonderful with the girls! And the girls slept in the same room the whole time. So now to start off the week doing what I do! Laters!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Wedding Vows
We are coming up on our 5th Year Anniversary! August 5, 2006. I thought I would share our vows that we wrote on our own.
"I take you, Amanda, to be my wife. I vow to cherish and respect you unconditionally for all the days of my life. I believe the Lord has placed you in my life to be my partner in marriage. I promise to provide for you spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I will protect you and sacrifice for you when I am weak, as well as when I am strong. I promise to be a good father and to raise our children in a loving Christian home. I promise to hare my entire life with you, and to be completely honest in everything I say and do. I promise to respect all your dreams and goals, and to encourage you when you need it most. I promise, that in every situation, no matter what has been said or done, I will keep faith, act in love and honor the relationship of marriage we have entered into. I love you, Amanda, and in the name of God, this is my solemn vow." ~ Taylor
"I take you, Taylor, to be my husband. I vow to cherish and respect you unconditionally for all the days of my life. I believe the Lord has placed you in my life to be my partner in marriage. I realize marriages are not perfect; we are not perfect. I know we will go through hard times, sometimes to difficult to bear, whether it be finances or sicknesses. But I know we all also go through great times, like having children and growing old together. I can't promise to be a perfect wife. There will be times when I am wrong, times when I am mean, and times when I am distant. But, right now, I am promising to honor this relationship, and trust the Lord that this our covenant to each other til death due us part. I promise to love you and stand by your side. I promise to support your goals and dreams, and to encourage you when you are weak and when you are strong. And I will go to the Lord in prayer for your strength and wisdom, and that you may be filled with the Spirit of God, and I will submit to what you think is best. I promise to be forgiving and share my life with you in faithfulness. I love you, Taylor. And, in the name of God, this is my solemn vow."
"I take you, Amanda, to be my wife. I vow to cherish and respect you unconditionally for all the days of my life. I believe the Lord has placed you in my life to be my partner in marriage. I promise to provide for you spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I will protect you and sacrifice for you when I am weak, as well as when I am strong. I promise to be a good father and to raise our children in a loving Christian home. I promise to hare my entire life with you, and to be completely honest in everything I say and do. I promise to respect all your dreams and goals, and to encourage you when you need it most. I promise, that in every situation, no matter what has been said or done, I will keep faith, act in love and honor the relationship of marriage we have entered into. I love you, Amanda, and in the name of God, this is my solemn vow." ~ Taylor
"I take you, Taylor, to be my husband. I vow to cherish and respect you unconditionally for all the days of my life. I believe the Lord has placed you in my life to be my partner in marriage. I realize marriages are not perfect; we are not perfect. I know we will go through hard times, sometimes to difficult to bear, whether it be finances or sicknesses. But I know we all also go through great times, like having children and growing old together. I can't promise to be a perfect wife. There will be times when I am wrong, times when I am mean, and times when I am distant. But, right now, I am promising to honor this relationship, and trust the Lord that this our covenant to each other til death due us part. I promise to love you and stand by your side. I promise to support your goals and dreams, and to encourage you when you are weak and when you are strong. And I will go to the Lord in prayer for your strength and wisdom, and that you may be filled with the Spirit of God, and I will submit to what you think is best. I promise to be forgiving and share my life with you in faithfulness. I love you, Taylor. And, in the name of God, this is my solemn vow."
Violated
So...yesterday was a pretty bad day. I have been feeling really good and then every once in a while (more often recently), I have been in a pretty sour mood - kind of depressed like. I know it has a lot to do with hormones, but sometimes it is hard to shake the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy, selfishness, short temper, mean sarcasm, and my imperfections shine even more. I feel like Paul when he says he wants to do right, but can't. Not only that, but I have been waking up in the middle of the night and unable to get back to sleep. Instead of staring at the ceiling, I do get up and read and pray. But then I am sleep deprived, adding to the hormones.
Yesterday, I took Ellie outside to play in the sprinkler, and she was so excited. I noticed that the back gate was open. Thinking it was weird, I went to close it to protect my daughter and keep her and the dog from escaping. That is when I noticed that the shed door was wide open and a huge vacant spot where our mower usually sat. I just prayed that Taylor took it to the front yard for whatever reason, knowing though that it wasn't the case. Then the waterworks started... I called Taylor and carried my daughter into the house and just sobbed. Ellie was being so sweet, and I was so angry and cursing this unknown thief. I put her in the pack-n-play with a bunch of toys and a video and went to the other room and just cried. I was so angry! I prayed and prayed, but not for me to have a heart of forgiveness and mercy, but for justice and for whoever this was to fail at whatever purpose he was going to use this lawn mower and weed-eater (yep, stolen too) for. I just feel so violated. And then as the day went on, I felt worse because of my own sinful reaction. Then, I felt physically even worse from all the crying, so then I ate whatever I wanted - fast food was easiest. Eating this all day made me feel even worse.... Spiral downwards....
Today is a new day. I realized I missed my baby girls. In my emotional craziness, I missed out on Day 560 of Ellie's life and Day 173 of Gemma's life. Seems like just a day, but each day is so valuable! I do NOT want to take for granted the time I have with them. I want to choose life today and not to sulk. If something like a stolen lawn mower comes up again, as small as it is, I need to take it to the Lord, leave it as His feet, and then trust He will provide, in whatever way He sees fit. Easier said than done. I am so thankful God still loves a sinner like me. And He still loves whoever that thief was. Gar. Lord, help me. Even as I type this, my heart still needs some changing towards the subject....
Yesterday, I took Ellie outside to play in the sprinkler, and she was so excited. I noticed that the back gate was open. Thinking it was weird, I went to close it to protect my daughter and keep her and the dog from escaping. That is when I noticed that the shed door was wide open and a huge vacant spot where our mower usually sat. I just prayed that Taylor took it to the front yard for whatever reason, knowing though that it wasn't the case. Then the waterworks started... I called Taylor and carried my daughter into the house and just sobbed. Ellie was being so sweet, and I was so angry and cursing this unknown thief. I put her in the pack-n-play with a bunch of toys and a video and went to the other room and just cried. I was so angry! I prayed and prayed, but not for me to have a heart of forgiveness and mercy, but for justice and for whoever this was to fail at whatever purpose he was going to use this lawn mower and weed-eater (yep, stolen too) for. I just feel so violated. And then as the day went on, I felt worse because of my own sinful reaction. Then, I felt physically even worse from all the crying, so then I ate whatever I wanted - fast food was easiest. Eating this all day made me feel even worse.... Spiral downwards....
Today is a new day. I realized I missed my baby girls. In my emotional craziness, I missed out on Day 560 of Ellie's life and Day 173 of Gemma's life. Seems like just a day, but each day is so valuable! I do NOT want to take for granted the time I have with them. I want to choose life today and not to sulk. If something like a stolen lawn mower comes up again, as small as it is, I need to take it to the Lord, leave it as His feet, and then trust He will provide, in whatever way He sees fit. Easier said than done. I am so thankful God still loves a sinner like me. And He still loves whoever that thief was. Gar. Lord, help me. Even as I type this, my heart still needs some changing towards the subject....
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
To Record for Me: 07/12/2011
Gemma tucked her knees under her today! Love you baby! Slow down on that growing though shoogs! Ellie is learning new signs and saying new things!
Signs: mom, dad, sorry, frog, help, and much much more!
Says: I sorry. I stuck. Whassat? Go.
Signs: mom, dad, sorry, frog, help, and much much more!
Says: I sorry. I stuck. Whassat? Go.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Celebrations
I'm a little bored, and I remembered I haven't posted on this in a few days. Not too much is new with this family. We have made a few goals. We both realized that we don't really have goals and in order to feel like we are aiming at something, we set a few. I want to sign up for a Swamp Foot Race in September while we are in Michigan. It is going to be the Saturday before Austin and Erin's wedding. I am super excited. It is a four mile foot race, except you go over lots of obstacles. So I am beginning the training for that. Taylor is as well. Oh yeah! I spent a while in Michigan, and just got back from that. It was really good. I enjoyed spending time with Taylor's family, and they were able to enjoy the babies. We also celebrated Austin and Erin by throwing them (really her haha) a wedding shower. Leah and I hosted it, and we played the Price is Right and the Spice is Right. I thought everything went really well, and I think that Erin got a few things to help them set up. It is always such a HUGE blessing to have that help. I remember it all too well, and I am so thankful for those people who blessed us so much. we are still using most everything given to us :) I am very stoked for their wedding 9-10-11!! We are going to spend two weeks up there, which is something Taylor has not been able to do in a while, so we are super excited for that!! Girls are good. I love being their mom. Although, I do wish I was a better mom at times. They are a delight, and God convict me if I ever complain. Thank you Lord for my two girls.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
update #3
Ellie - 16 and a half months
- things she says: kaka (cracker), Sha (Shanks our dog), mil (milk), oose (juice), dah dah (dog dog), men (amen), and ana (banana), b (bird)
- things she signs: more, please, milk, juice, dog, book, cracker, blanket, hat, sleep, eat, help, banana, water, bird
- climbs everything
- gives kisses
- waves byebye
Gemma - 4 months
- is sleeping until 6am
- can roll over back to front
- babbles and coos :)
- smiles and laughs
- things she says: kaka (cracker), Sha (Shanks our dog), mil (milk), oose (juice), dah dah (dog dog), men (amen), and ana (banana), b (bird)
- things she signs: more, please, milk, juice, dog, book, cracker, blanket, hat, sleep, eat, help, banana, water, bird
- climbs everything
- gives kisses
- waves byebye
Gemma - 4 months
- is sleeping until 6am
- can roll over back to front
- babbles and coos :)
- smiles and laughs
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
hurt feelings
i love friendships. i love hanging out with the girls and talking about nonsense and love being able to share the deeper heart issues. in church for the past few months, we have been talking about real jesus encounters and how we can be real friends with other people. i have been thinking a lot about this and different ways i can be a true friend, but i am struggling because sometimes friendships take some work. and what i have been dealing with a lot lately is friendships not being recipricated. i feel like on my end that i would consider them a good friend, or someone that i want to get to know more, but they have already forgotten about me.... i know this is shallow, but i start to think am i not smart enough? am i not pretty enough? am i not stylish enough? am i not funny enough? i guess i feel like i am on someones checklist sometimes too. i hate that. i should know that a lot of friendships are seasonal. when do i speak up and say hey you hurt my feelings. i dont want people to feel obligated to hang out with me, or pay attention to me,when i know they just have other friends. in other words - this is just me being too selfish? i dont know. jesus, sometimes i wonder if i am that person with you. just like i dont want to be an item to check off your list of hanging out with today, i know you dont want to be on a checklist either. give me the wisdom to know when i am doing that to you or others and also when i should confront a friend.
Friday, May 20, 2011
its friday:-)
Fridays do not eveN seem like fridays anymore. Taylor has to work on saturdays, and so all the days just blur together. However, today he came home at lunch and surprised me because he took the rest of the day off:-) I would say we are busy, but truthfully, we are just in the day to day stuff to do. Between taking care of kiddos and trying to keep the house clean, Taylor has allowed me to go on several trips on my own, which have been much appreciated. I was reading a friends blog and I totally agree with her that it is a type of quality to be able to go through the aisles slowly without purpose. And not have kids to keep entertained\quiet. We are looking forward to going on our trip to michigan next week. It will be a short trip for taylor, but I think it will still be much needed time. Ellie has become quite the climber as of late. A couple days ago, we heard some climkings and went into the dining room to find her on top of the table with her hand in the jelly jar. Too funny. She has also climbed on top of the high chair on numerous occasions. However to let her get in the dog food and feed Mr. Shanks is the question. She loves it. She will grab a handful and give it to him. Of course, she always makes a mess. I am torn between telling her no or let her have fun with the dog. I am really on a cooking craze. Taylor and I have been trying lots of new things and adding new things to our favorites list a lot. Yesterday we had cilantro pesto chicken tenderloins with sweet corn on the cob, and broccoli and cheese. What was even better was that Ellie ate her entire portion. Exciting, I know. Well kiddos are awake and we are going to the park:-) Forgive my unorganized posting. Not too much to update. Girls are still growing and changing daily. And Taylor and I are still doing our thing. I am wanting to figure out to start doing my hobbies again. I guess the dishes won't get done again today..... haha.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
What my Babies are doing now
Updates on Ellie and Gemma as of today!
- Ellie - things she says in the order she started saying them: dada, ow, bye-bye, baby, please.
- Ellie - things she signs: more, eat, dog, baby, all done, please.
- Ellie is walking everywhere, practically running. She can climb steps, get onto the couch and the rocking chair. She climbs her slide all by herself. Of course she scared us last weekend at my parents house when she climbed up to the second story and nobody knew where she was until she did her "help" cries. Good grief. Scared us to death.
- Gemma is smiling all the time :) Especially at our smiles.
- Ellie is doing really good at recognition. She has a magnet book with different animals that can come out. If we point to the magnet of a tiger and ask her where it goes, she puts it in its spot, along with the rest of the magnets.
- Gemma, at her appointment last week, was 13.6 pounds (98%) and 24.75 inches (99%).
- Ellie loves her baby sister, gives her hugs and kisses.
- Gemma can hold her head up really well!
- Both girls went on the first camping trip a couple of weeks ago, and did GREAT!!! Ellie slept all night in a pack-n-play, and Gemma in a laundry basket.
- Ellie has helped me cook cookies and french toast and loves to help!
- Gemma loves to watch her sister.
- Gemma also loves to kick her legs.
Things I want to remember about my girls from this age:
- Ellie loves to hide her magnets and mommy's cell phone in the cabinet, and then do the "ta-da" when she shows me where they are :)
- Gemma is my chubby little girl, and her skin is so soft.
- Ellie throws shoes at the dog to get him to play with her.
- Ellie also loves to hug her sister and thinks she can hold her.
- Gemma has a scream on her!
Spring is here!
I love my babies. They are growing so fast!! Today, I decided to include Ellie on chocolate chip cookie making!! Using the fabulous recipe from a good friend of mine, we dug right in. She would watch me pour, and then pour in the ingredients as I handed her the measuring spoons and cups. I didn't get a picture, but the funniest part was after we put the flour in, she grabbed a handful to taste, and it went everywhere, and of course she didn't like the taste of it! Haha! She was a good little helper. Here are some pictures -
Friday, March 18, 2011
2 under 15 months!
Seven weeks have flown by!! It is now 9:15 a.m. I just got through feeding Gemma and changing her just to have her completely FILL her diaper with some more yumminess, and being the lazy mom I am, I just put her in her bassinet, because how can I wake up my sleeping beauty just for a diaper change?? Nope, just let her sleep... And as I write this my other precious little girl is letting out little shouts of joy from her room, saying "Mom, I am ready to play!!" I love my little girls SO much. A couple of nights ago, Taylor looked at me and asked if he could go get Ellie and have her snuggle with us in bed. It had been a busy day, and he had seen her for maybe two minutes. I reluctantly said sure, uncertain if she would sleep at all. We did scare her a little waking her up to bring her in. We laid her down and she flopped a little, woke up a little, realized where she was, let out a little giggle, and then crawled to where she could lay her head right next to mine. In went the thumb, and she was asleep. It made my night to have her snuggle with me. Of course, we found out she flops like a fish in the night..haha. She would flop flop and then get back to where her head was touching mine. But after several slaps in the face and jabs in the ribs, we decided it was time to put her back in her crib. Ellie is our little babbler, she babbles and babbles, but no words. We THINK she knows Dada though. And yesterday on the changing table she waved her hand and said bye bye, I swear! But I can't get her to do it again.
Gemma is our little chunk. She has grown so much! At her one month, she was in the 98.5% for her height, and 96% for her weight. I am curious to see in a couple of weeks where she is at at 2 months. She did smile at me for the first time last week! It was precious! She smiles a lot with her eyes. She is really holding her head up quite a bit. She is not sleeping through the night yet, but I am to blame for that. I am not getting her on a consistent schedule through the day. I think once I do that, she will sleep 7-8 hours for me at night. She will go 5, but not consistently.
Taylor and I are doing great! He is going to Austin this weekend to see a friend play some music, and I will be by myself, well not quite. I called help on my parents. So they will be here to give this mom with 2 under 2 a hand. Or even a mom of 2 under 15 months a hand. HAH! That sounds better!
I am reading lots of cookbooks, and trying to expand my recipes and cooking experience. I am also trying to figure out how to organize my day and organize the girls' wake times, so that we are getting structure time and plenty of play time, down time, and devotional time. And of course, being able to clean the house and make an awesome dinner by the time Taylor gets home. I want to be able to overload my kids with the kisses and hugs they need and deserve. But also be on top of the discipline. I also am trying to think of the "perfect" time to work out. Haha...now to put into action.
Welp, Ellie, to begin the day with a scrambled egg and toast! And we shall attempt the grapes again, yes ma'am, you will eat the grapes and not throw them on the floor!
Gemma is our little chunk. She has grown so much! At her one month, she was in the 98.5% for her height, and 96% for her weight. I am curious to see in a couple of weeks where she is at at 2 months. She did smile at me for the first time last week! It was precious! She smiles a lot with her eyes. She is really holding her head up quite a bit. She is not sleeping through the night yet, but I am to blame for that. I am not getting her on a consistent schedule through the day. I think once I do that, she will sleep 7-8 hours for me at night. She will go 5, but not consistently.
Taylor and I are doing great! He is going to Austin this weekend to see a friend play some music, and I will be by myself, well not quite. I called help on my parents. So they will be here to give this mom with 2 under 2 a hand. Or even a mom of 2 under 15 months a hand. HAH! That sounds better!
I am reading lots of cookbooks, and trying to expand my recipes and cooking experience. I am also trying to figure out how to organize my day and organize the girls' wake times, so that we are getting structure time and plenty of play time, down time, and devotional time. And of course, being able to clean the house and make an awesome dinner by the time Taylor gets home. I want to be able to overload my kids with the kisses and hugs they need and deserve. But also be on top of the discipline. I also am trying to think of the "perfect" time to work out. Haha...now to put into action.
Welp, Ellie, to begin the day with a scrambled egg and toast! And we shall attempt the grapes again, yes ma'am, you will eat the grapes and not throw them on the floor!
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Gemma Lee... I was so surprised to find out I was pregnant. Ellie only being 5 months old at the time, and I was still breastfeeding. Yes, I know that breastfeeding is not a sure thing against getting pregnant again, obviously. Looking back, I remember thinking I kind of want to get pregnant again, not thinking it was going to happen. A month before finding out, I noticed a slight drop in my milk. I took the test, and I remember being slightly disappointed that it came back negative. May was such a CRAZY month. My family did quite a bit of traveling. We went to the lake to celebrate my grandmother's life. We went to Connecticut to celebrate Taylor's friend and his marriage. Ellie and I flew to Michigan to be with Taylor's family. I remember having a conversation with his mom about it being so crazy and even joking at the aspect of possibly being pregnant. Sure enough I was pregnant at the time and did not know it. The following week I got my wisdom teeth removed and was definitely put out for the operation. A couple of days later, I was very sick - thinking I possibly swallowed way too much blood. I took a test just to rule out pregnancy. But the little pink line showed up right away! I was pregnant! I remember worry because of the surgery and excitement because of another little one and panic because it happened so fast!
First of all, I want to thank a few people...
Taylor - my husband and best friend, father of my children, for seeing it all and loving me, for cooking, cleaning, and doing his fair share of Ellie diaper changes, for doing my "mom" duties when I felt sick, and so much more.
Angie - my wonderful friend (and doula), was there throughout the entire pregnancy and before, keeping tabs on me, caring for me, and just plain loving me.
My parents - for being wonderful grandparents and for helping me especially now when I am totally clueless on even how to begin to split my time and energy, or share my time and energy, to care for TWO little ones.
Taylor's parents - for loving us and their grandchildren, and their desire to know them. I hate that there is so much physical distance between us...
So, now the labor and delivery story....
At the 37 week ultrasound, I found out that she might weigh 8 lb 12 oz. Although an estimate, it shocked me and kind of scared me. My doctor recommended inducing the following Monday. I was at 2 cm and 50% effaced, which is crazy because I had not even dilated or effaced until my water broke with Ellie at a day before she was born. Taylor and I decided to let her come when she was ready. I had not dilated or effaced any more since the prior week, which was disappointing but meant absolutely nothing.
At the next appointment, I had dilated to a 3. This was good news for me because it meant that the contractions I had been feeling spontaneously were actually doing something. The following week, 3 days before my due date, I was close to a 4 and 70% effaced. To this point, I had been contracting. They never hurt, but they were consistent and lasted longer than a minute. They seemed to occur at night and when I was active. Angie and I had started doing what we could to get this baby out. We started walking a TON. We went to Walmart and walked for almost two hours. A few days later we went to the school campus and walked 3.3 miles pushing strollers. A couple of days later we went to a park and walked for 2 hours. I did my time on the birthing ball and doing squats. The park walk was on the day of my appointment. But still, the contractions never stayed and never hurt.
Then, on Thursday night, well Friday morning, I woke up at 1:30 am with one that hurt. I fell back asleep thinking if this was it, they would keep coming and wake me up. And sure enough they did. And they hurt. I texted Angie around 3 am and told her that it might be the real deal. I waited another thirty minutes and told her to come on over! I called my parents as well to start the drive so they could be here to care for Ellie. Once Angie got here, I was having to breathe through the contractions.
Although they were only like 5 minutes apart, they were hurting quite a bit. Taylor decided to take a shower, and Angie went and got breakfast for her and Taylor. Even though I wanted to do most of the labor at home, we were concerned that we didn't know how fast labor would go and I needed to get to the hospital in time to get all the antibiotics for my Group B Strep. So we decided to go the hospital at like 4 in the morning.
So, to the hospital we went. After getting into our bed, they checked me and I was at a 4, only a 4...sigh... They timed my contractions for half an hour and said that I wasn't going anywhere. They also started me on the antibiotics and called my doctor to let her know I was there. She came in to check on me about 8:30 in the morning, and I was a, drum roll please, a 5. Dang it! She suggested breaking my water to get me started. I was so against doing any of that, and to be honest, I don't even remember my reasoning for allowing her to break my water. But she did let me have the breaking of my water without doing the pitocin. I asked if I could have some stadol for the pain. They gave it to me and I kind of drifted off. Gemma's heartbeat stayed strong the entire time. I didn't have to have oxygen like I did with Ellie. I feel bad because Taylor and Angie were talking to me and stuff, and I could hear everything they were saying but didn't have the desire to respond. I am unsure of the timing after that, but a few hours later, they checked me and I was a 7, then checked me again and I was only an 8. I was at an 8 for a while. I started to get really restless - I changed positions a few times, getting on my hands and knees, leaning on Angie and rocking back and forth, sitting , leaning forward, etc.
About 1 pm, I just could not take it any longer. The contractions had been coming hard and fast since I was an 8, which had been a few hours prior to that. I remember starting to cry and just thinking I couldn't do it any longer. Angie got in my face and told me I could do it, which was what I needed. She reminded me that this meant the time was very soon to meet my daughter. My doctor got there after 1 and checked me and said I was at 9 and a quarter and she would come back and check me in a little while. I was just like "no dr, please take her out of me, I can't do this anymore." I asked her what would happen if I pushed, if I would tear? She said that it was probable but that I wasn't ready yet. I asked her to check again, and she did, and said we could give it a try. So I started to push, and she said okay let's give it a try! So they got all prepped and the pushing began. I think it only lasted about 5 minutes and she was born at 1:26 pm. I remember them saying "She has a lot of hair" and "Oh Amanda she is big!" and "you've got to stop screaming" And Taylor is reminding me that the last one was the most frequent...haha.
She came out, and they gave her to me right away. For some reason, this was a lot more emotional for me, and Taylor mentioned the same for him. Not that Ellie's birth wasn't emotional. The experience was definitely more intense with this labor, but I think it was because we knew....
We knew the joy she would bring and the laughter and the blessing because of Ellie, but we also understood the individual that Gemma would be. She arrived at a whopping 9 lb and 21-1/4" long. She looked very similar to Ellie.
Gemma is on top, and Ellie on the bottom.
I was able to nurse right away, and although she latched on great, she would cry and break off - that was hard. It was hard for the first couple of days, but now it is great!
Ellie is very interested in her and so far so good! I don't think she quite understands yet, and she can be a tiny bit rough, but unknowingly so.
I had to stay two days in the hospital because of the Group B, and it was pretty uninventful. Taylor had a couple of buddies drop by from out of town, and I was thankful to see them. Other than that though, we didn't have any visitors, which kind of hurt my feelings and disappointed me a little bit....
Other than that though, my recovery has been slow and quick at the same time compared to Ellie's. As always, I try to do too much too soon, and it always sets me back a little bit. But we are adjusting to a family of four and loving it. I am just so terrified I am going to miss something, something from Gemma or something from Ellie.
Two more things. Gemma Lee shares a birthday with her great grandmother! January 28. This is super exciting!! Another thing, not so important to Gemma's birth, but it was quite interesting that the entire labor, we were watching the horrible events unfold in Cairo, Egypt - the burning of the buildings, etc. I was kind of out of it for the whole thing...but every time I was coherent and looked at the TV, there was something else that elevating to an even worse situation....
First of all, I want to thank a few people...
Taylor - my husband and best friend, father of my children, for seeing it all and loving me, for cooking, cleaning, and doing his fair share of Ellie diaper changes, for doing my "mom" duties when I felt sick, and so much more.
Angie - my wonderful friend (and doula), was there throughout the entire pregnancy and before, keeping tabs on me, caring for me, and just plain loving me.
My parents - for being wonderful grandparents and for helping me especially now when I am totally clueless on even how to begin to split my time and energy, or share my time and energy, to care for TWO little ones.
Taylor's parents - for loving us and their grandchildren, and their desire to know them. I hate that there is so much physical distance between us...
So, now the labor and delivery story....
At the 37 week ultrasound, I found out that she might weigh 8 lb 12 oz. Although an estimate, it shocked me and kind of scared me. My doctor recommended inducing the following Monday. I was at 2 cm and 50% effaced, which is crazy because I had not even dilated or effaced until my water broke with Ellie at a day before she was born. Taylor and I decided to let her come when she was ready. I had not dilated or effaced any more since the prior week, which was disappointing but meant absolutely nothing.
At the next appointment, I had dilated to a 3. This was good news for me because it meant that the contractions I had been feeling spontaneously were actually doing something. The following week, 3 days before my due date, I was close to a 4 and 70% effaced. To this point, I had been contracting. They never hurt, but they were consistent and lasted longer than a minute. They seemed to occur at night and when I was active. Angie and I had started doing what we could to get this baby out. We started walking a TON. We went to Walmart and walked for almost two hours. A few days later we went to the school campus and walked 3.3 miles pushing strollers. A couple of days later we went to a park and walked for 2 hours. I did my time on the birthing ball and doing squats. The park walk was on the day of my appointment. But still, the contractions never stayed and never hurt.
Then, on Thursday night, well Friday morning, I woke up at 1:30 am with one that hurt. I fell back asleep thinking if this was it, they would keep coming and wake me up. And sure enough they did. And they hurt. I texted Angie around 3 am and told her that it might be the real deal. I waited another thirty minutes and told her to come on over! I called my parents as well to start the drive so they could be here to care for Ellie. Once Angie got here, I was having to breathe through the contractions.
Although they were only like 5 minutes apart, they were hurting quite a bit. Taylor decided to take a shower, and Angie went and got breakfast for her and Taylor. Even though I wanted to do most of the labor at home, we were concerned that we didn't know how fast labor would go and I needed to get to the hospital in time to get all the antibiotics for my Group B Strep. So we decided to go the hospital at like 4 in the morning.
So, to the hospital we went. After getting into our bed, they checked me and I was at a 4, only a 4...sigh... They timed my contractions for half an hour and said that I wasn't going anywhere. They also started me on the antibiotics and called my doctor to let her know I was there. She came in to check on me about 8:30 in the morning, and I was a, drum roll please, a 5. Dang it! She suggested breaking my water to get me started. I was so against doing any of that, and to be honest, I don't even remember my reasoning for allowing her to break my water. But she did let me have the breaking of my water without doing the pitocin. I asked if I could have some stadol for the pain. They gave it to me and I kind of drifted off. Gemma's heartbeat stayed strong the entire time. I didn't have to have oxygen like I did with Ellie. I feel bad because Taylor and Angie were talking to me and stuff, and I could hear everything they were saying but didn't have the desire to respond. I am unsure of the timing after that, but a few hours later, they checked me and I was a 7, then checked me again and I was only an 8. I was at an 8 for a while. I started to get really restless - I changed positions a few times, getting on my hands and knees, leaning on Angie and rocking back and forth, sitting , leaning forward, etc.
About 1 pm, I just could not take it any longer. The contractions had been coming hard and fast since I was an 8, which had been a few hours prior to that. I remember starting to cry and just thinking I couldn't do it any longer. Angie got in my face and told me I could do it, which was what I needed. She reminded me that this meant the time was very soon to meet my daughter. My doctor got there after 1 and checked me and said I was at 9 and a quarter and she would come back and check me in a little while. I was just like "no dr, please take her out of me, I can't do this anymore." I asked her what would happen if I pushed, if I would tear? She said that it was probable but that I wasn't ready yet. I asked her to check again, and she did, and said we could give it a try. So I started to push, and she said okay let's give it a try! So they got all prepped and the pushing began. I think it only lasted about 5 minutes and she was born at 1:26 pm. I remember them saying "She has a lot of hair" and "Oh Amanda she is big!" and "you've got to stop screaming" And Taylor is reminding me that the last one was the most frequent...haha.
She came out, and they gave her to me right away. For some reason, this was a lot more emotional for me, and Taylor mentioned the same for him. Not that Ellie's birth wasn't emotional. The experience was definitely more intense with this labor, but I think it was because we knew....
We knew the joy she would bring and the laughter and the blessing because of Ellie, but we also understood the individual that Gemma would be. She arrived at a whopping 9 lb and 21-1/4" long. She looked very similar to Ellie.
Gemma is on top, and Ellie on the bottom.
I was able to nurse right away, and although she latched on great, she would cry and break off - that was hard. It was hard for the first couple of days, but now it is great!
Ellie is very interested in her and so far so good! I don't think she quite understands yet, and she can be a tiny bit rough, but unknowingly so.
I had to stay two days in the hospital because of the Group B, and it was pretty uninventful. Taylor had a couple of buddies drop by from out of town, and I was thankful to see them. Other than that though, we didn't have any visitors, which kind of hurt my feelings and disappointed me a little bit....
Other than that though, my recovery has been slow and quick at the same time compared to Ellie's. As always, I try to do too much too soon, and it always sets me back a little bit. But we are adjusting to a family of four and loving it. I am just so terrified I am going to miss something, something from Gemma or something from Ellie.
Two more things. Gemma Lee shares a birthday with her great grandmother! January 28. This is super exciting!! Another thing, not so important to Gemma's birth, but it was quite interesting that the entire labor, we were watching the horrible events unfold in Cairo, Egypt - the burning of the buildings, etc. I was kind of out of it for the whole thing...but every time I was coherent and looked at the TV, there was something else that elevating to an even worse situation....
Monday, January 24, 2011
the small changes
January 24th - 6 days until Gemma Lee's due date. I am so excited, anxious, nervous, impatient, and so much more emotions are just pouring out. Little things make me cry, and I have no idea why I am crying. I am so thankful Taylor is being patient with me and understands that is mostly hormones that is causing my crazy reactions sometimes! It has been an interesting few weeks. I am actually dilating. At 36 weeks, I was already a 1. Then at 37 weeks, I was a 2 and 50% effaced. At 38 weeks, I hadn't changed, and they estimated her weight to be at 8 lbs and 12 oz. I was a little frustrated and disappointed. I was hoping to be progressed a little more because I thought I was having contractions. My doctor suggested inducing the following Monday because she is estimated on the big side, but I decided to not do it. I would like to try to let her come when she is ready. However, with her already measuring two pounds heavier then Ellie was kinda scares me. I am praying that God prepares my body to deliver her whatever size she is though. Last week (at almost 39 weeks), I went in and had dilated to a 3, so that encouraged me to know that my contractions are doing something, and I am not being a wimp. Already, this labor process is different from Ellie, already being at least a 3 before even going to the hospital. With Ellie, I was barely a 1! Of course with Ellie, it was easy to know when I was in labor because my water broke which started things happening. With this one, it is not so easy to know. Last night I thought for sure was the real thing because they were a little more intense. But, nothing.... So now, we are just waiting. 39 weeks 1 day. When will be your birthday little one??
I am glad that Gemma decided not to make her appearance this week though because Ellie and I both got sick. Ellie was such a trooper. It was mainly the cold. For her, it started as a runny nose, then kinda developed from there - puffy eyes, cough, low fever, etc. Whenever she was awake, she was happy though. We only had two nights where she woke up once or twice in the middle of the night because she couldn't breathe with her runny nose. We tried having her sleep with us one night, but that didn't last long because she wanted to play...but she did snuggle with us for a little bit. She has been way MORE snuggly recently, and I am enjoying that so much! We are both on the upturn though, just runny noses.
My parents came this past weekend, and that was a nice break. I was able to breathe and not think, which is exactly what I needed. Ellie has a lot of fun with both of them. My dad played the Dobro for her, and she LOVED it! She is giving hugs now! I love it!! That is such a sweet moment when she comes up to you and hugs you. I treasure it so much. She knows the signs for dog now, and we think fish. We are trying to teach her please and thank you now. It is fun watching her learn on her own. Man, I love that girl.
I am glad that Gemma decided not to make her appearance this week though because Ellie and I both got sick. Ellie was such a trooper. It was mainly the cold. For her, it started as a runny nose, then kinda developed from there - puffy eyes, cough, low fever, etc. Whenever she was awake, she was happy though. We only had two nights where she woke up once or twice in the middle of the night because she couldn't breathe with her runny nose. We tried having her sleep with us one night, but that didn't last long because she wanted to play...but she did snuggle with us for a little bit. She has been way MORE snuggly recently, and I am enjoying that so much! We are both on the upturn though, just runny noses.
My parents came this past weekend, and that was a nice break. I was able to breathe and not think, which is exactly what I needed. Ellie has a lot of fun with both of them. My dad played the Dobro for her, and she LOVED it! She is giving hugs now! I love it!! That is such a sweet moment when she comes up to you and hugs you. I treasure it so much. She knows the signs for dog now, and we think fish. We are trying to teach her please and thank you now. It is fun watching her learn on her own. Man, I love that girl.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Welcome 2011!
2010 is over, and 2011 has now begun! I, along with most people, have said there have been the bad things, but there has also been the awesome things. For me, 2011 is just another year with days that are just another day. I don't have any new resolutions or new goals. Yet, 2010 was a year in which there are several things to note -
January 6 brought us Ellie Louise - only 10 hours of labor and minutes of pushing, and out came a beautiful GIRL (we were surprised) - 9:52 am. 6 lb 13 oz. 21 1/2 inches. She has been such a joy and a delight! This first year of her life has gone by SO quick. Taylor and I are enthralled by her. She is changing before our eyes. Currently, she is walking, practically running, kicking soccer balls around, opening and shutting doors, putting things into boxes or drawers (I love finding toys in her pajama drawer - it makes me smile, however not so much when I find something in the toilet, haha), eating EVERYTHING that we eat (favorites are spaghetti and pancakes, however she has tried fish tacos, Thai food, stir fry, and I'm sure some other things that are very different), she has two teeth (on the bottom), she knows the signs for more, milk, and all done, she is learning to kiss and wave (not there yet), she sleeps all night, and is SUCH a joy when she wakes up!! She does so much more, but I've experienced all of this today so it is on the brain!
May 8 - we spread my grandmother's ashes. It was a sad day, yet we made it more about the memories and playing music, which she always enjoyed. I will miss her, and keep thinking about calling her and remembering that she is no longer here....
May 15 - we went on a trip to Connecticut where we celebrated one of Taylor's best friends getting married. We had such a great time!
June 5 is the day I found out we were expecting again!! CRAZY!!! And a bit of a shocker.
August was the big family reunion in Missouri, and I got to see one of my best friends, Rhiannon, whom I have not seen since she got married! It was a great week!
September 11 was the weekend of Taylor's Lemons Race - first experience, fun and yet very stressful. A new hobby was created, however one that has been on hold for a while...
October 12 we found out we are having a GIRL! We decided to find out this time :)
Pretty eventful year! The bible study I am in has been consistent and growing and I am getting closer and closer to the lovely ladies every time we meet. We have completed two studies - 12 extraordinary women and Stepping Up. Stepping Up was phenomenal and taught me a great deal and offered perspective that I needed at that point in my life.
Taylor and I have also branched off with community groups and now lead and host one in our home. I love the people in our group, and although we have lost a few, I hope and pray that our group can continue to grow in the Lord. We have decided to take a different approach this year, and do a more focused bible study. Very different for us, but I pray that God speaks through us.
Christmas was great this year! Ellie was very interested in everything she got and not so much the boxes and paper, which I thought was going to be the case. My parents and grandmother and sister came, which was so wonderful. We played a couple of pretty epic games. I do love my family.
2011 - things that are coming up this year!
Ellie is turning 1 on Thursday! It makes me want to cry! We are doing something not to big - hamburgers, hot dogs, and cupcakes, and having some family and friends over.
Gemma Lee is due on January 30! Keep posted for her arrival story very soon!
Taylor and my anniversary is August 5, and it will be FIVE YEARS!
Taylor's brother is getting married September 10 to a beautiful lady by the name of Erin!
So much to celebrate with everyone! So many babies are due! Weddings! Exciting stuff!
January 6 brought us Ellie Louise - only 10 hours of labor and minutes of pushing, and out came a beautiful GIRL (we were surprised) - 9:52 am. 6 lb 13 oz. 21 1/2 inches. She has been such a joy and a delight! This first year of her life has gone by SO quick. Taylor and I are enthralled by her. She is changing before our eyes. Currently, she is walking, practically running, kicking soccer balls around, opening and shutting doors, putting things into boxes or drawers (I love finding toys in her pajama drawer - it makes me smile, however not so much when I find something in the toilet, haha), eating EVERYTHING that we eat (favorites are spaghetti and pancakes, however she has tried fish tacos, Thai food, stir fry, and I'm sure some other things that are very different), she has two teeth (on the bottom), she knows the signs for more, milk, and all done, she is learning to kiss and wave (not there yet), she sleeps all night, and is SUCH a joy when she wakes up!! She does so much more, but I've experienced all of this today so it is on the brain!
May 8 - we spread my grandmother's ashes. It was a sad day, yet we made it more about the memories and playing music, which she always enjoyed. I will miss her, and keep thinking about calling her and remembering that she is no longer here....
May 15 - we went on a trip to Connecticut where we celebrated one of Taylor's best friends getting married. We had such a great time!
June 5 is the day I found out we were expecting again!! CRAZY!!! And a bit of a shocker.
August was the big family reunion in Missouri, and I got to see one of my best friends, Rhiannon, whom I have not seen since she got married! It was a great week!
September 11 was the weekend of Taylor's Lemons Race - first experience, fun and yet very stressful. A new hobby was created, however one that has been on hold for a while...
October 12 we found out we are having a GIRL! We decided to find out this time :)
Pretty eventful year! The bible study I am in has been consistent and growing and I am getting closer and closer to the lovely ladies every time we meet. We have completed two studies - 12 extraordinary women and Stepping Up. Stepping Up was phenomenal and taught me a great deal and offered perspective that I needed at that point in my life.
Taylor and I have also branched off with community groups and now lead and host one in our home. I love the people in our group, and although we have lost a few, I hope and pray that our group can continue to grow in the Lord. We have decided to take a different approach this year, and do a more focused bible study. Very different for us, but I pray that God speaks through us.
Christmas was great this year! Ellie was very interested in everything she got and not so much the boxes and paper, which I thought was going to be the case. My parents and grandmother and sister came, which was so wonderful. We played a couple of pretty epic games. I do love my family.
2011 - things that are coming up this year!
Ellie is turning 1 on Thursday! It makes me want to cry! We are doing something not to big - hamburgers, hot dogs, and cupcakes, and having some family and friends over.
Gemma Lee is due on January 30! Keep posted for her arrival story very soon!
Taylor and my anniversary is August 5, and it will be FIVE YEARS!
Taylor's brother is getting married September 10 to a beautiful lady by the name of Erin!
So much to celebrate with everyone! So many babies are due! Weddings! Exciting stuff!
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