Spring is here!

I love my babies. They are growing so fast!! Today, I decided to include Ellie on chocolate chip cookie making!! Using the fabulous recipe from a good friend of mine, we dug right in. She would watch me pour, and then pour in the ingredients as I handed her the measuring spoons and cups. I didn't get a picture, but the funniest part was after we put the flour in, she grabbed a handful to taste, and it went everywhere, and of course she didn't like the taste of it! Haha! She was a good little helper. Here are some pictures -

2 under 15 months!

Seven weeks have flown by!! It is now 9:15 a.m. I just got through feeding Gemma and changing her just to have her completely FILL her diaper with some more yumminess, and being the lazy mom I am, I just put her in her bassinet, because how can I wake up my sleeping beauty just for a diaper change?? Nope, just let her sleep... And as I write this my other precious little girl is letting out little shouts of joy from her room, saying "Mom, I am ready to play!!" I love my little girls SO much. A couple of nights ago, Taylor looked at me and asked if he could go get Ellie and have her snuggle with us in bed. It had been a busy day, and he had seen her for maybe two minutes. I reluctantly said sure, uncertain if she would sleep at all. We did scare her a little waking her up to bring her in. We laid her down and she flopped a little, woke up a little, realized where she was, let out a little giggle, and then crawled to where she could lay her head right next to mine. In went the thumb, and she was asleep. It made my night to have her snuggle with me. Of course, we found out she flops like a fish in the night..haha. She would flop flop and then get back to where her head was touching mine. But after several slaps in the face and jabs in the ribs, we decided it was time to put her back in her crib. Ellie is our little babbler, she babbles and babbles, but no words. We THINK she knows Dada though. And yesterday on the changing table she waved her hand and said bye bye, I swear! But I can't get her to do it again.

Gemma is our little chunk. She has grown so much! At her one month, she was in the 98.5% for her height, and 96% for her weight. I am curious to see in a couple of weeks where she is at at 2 months. She did smile at me for the first time last week! It was precious! She smiles a lot with her eyes. She is really holding her head up quite a bit. She is not sleeping through the night yet, but I am to blame for that. I am not getting her on a consistent schedule through the day. I think once I do that, she will sleep 7-8 hours for me at night. She will go 5, but not consistently.

Taylor and I are doing great! He is going to Austin this weekend to see a friend play some music, and I will be by myself, well not quite. I called help on my parents. So they will be here to give this mom with 2 under 2 a hand. Or even a mom of 2 under 15 months a hand. HAH! That sounds better!

I am reading lots of cookbooks, and trying to expand my recipes and cooking experience. I am also trying to figure out how to organize my day and organize the girls' wake times, so that we are getting structure time and plenty of play time, down time, and devotional time. And of course, being able to clean the house and make an awesome dinner by the time Taylor gets home. I want to be able to overload my kids with the kisses and hugs they need and deserve. But also be on top of the discipline. I also am trying to think of the "perfect" time to work out. Haha...now to put into action.

Welp, Ellie, to begin the day with a scrambled egg and toast! And we shall attempt the grapes again, yes ma'am, you will eat the grapes and not throw them on the floor!

Gemma Lee... I was so surprised to find out I was pregnant. Ellie only being 5 months old at the time, and I was still breastfeeding. Yes, I know that breastfeeding is not a sure thing against getting pregnant again, obviously. Looking back, I remember thinking I kind of want to get pregnant again, not thinking it was going to happen. A month before finding out, I noticed a slight drop in my milk. I took the test, and I remember being slightly disappointed that it came back negative. May was such a CRAZY month. My family did quite a bit of traveling. We went to the lake to celebrate my grandmother's life. We went to Connecticut to celebrate Taylor's friend and his marriage. Ellie and I flew to Michigan to be with Taylor's family. I remember having a conversation with his mom about it being so crazy and even joking at the aspect of possibly being pregnant. Sure enough I was pregnant at the time and did not know it. The following week I got my wisdom teeth removed and was definitely put out for the operation. A couple of days later, I was very sick - thinking I possibly swallowed way too much blood. I took a test just to rule out pregnancy. But the little pink line showed up right away! I was pregnant! I remember worry because of the surgery and excitement because of another little one and panic because it happened so fast!



First of all, I want to thank a few people...

Taylor - my husband and best friend, father of my children, for seeing it all and loving me, for cooking, cleaning, and doing his fair share of Ellie diaper changes, for doing my "mom" duties when I felt sick, and so much more.

Angie - my wonderful friend (and doula), was there throughout the entire pregnancy and before, keeping tabs on me, caring for me, and just plain loving me.

My parents - for being wonderful grandparents and for helping me especially now when I am totally clueless on even how to begin to split my time and energy, or share my time and energy, to care for TWO little ones.

Taylor's parents - for loving us and their grandchildren, and their desire to know them. I hate that there is so much physical distance between us...

So, now the labor and delivery story....

At the 37 week ultrasound, I found out that she might weigh 8 lb 12 oz. Although an estimate, it shocked me and kind of scared me. My doctor recommended inducing the following Monday. I was at 2 cm and 50% effaced, which is crazy because I had not even dilated or effaced until my water broke with Ellie at a day before she was born. Taylor and I decided to let her come when she was ready. I had not dilated or effaced any more since the prior week, which was disappointing but meant absolutely nothing.

At the next appointment, I had dilated to a 3. This was good news for me because it meant that the contractions I had been feeling spontaneously were actually doing something. The following week, 3 days before my due date, I was close to a 4 and 70% effaced. To this point, I had been contracting. They never hurt, but they were consistent and lasted longer than a minute. They seemed to occur at night and when I was active. Angie and I had started doing what we could to get this baby out. We started walking a TON. We went to Walmart and walked for almost two hours. A few days later we went to the school campus and walked 3.3 miles pushing strollers. A couple of days later we went to a park and walked for 2 hours. I did my time on the birthing ball and doing squats. The park walk was on the day of my appointment. But still, the contractions never stayed and never hurt.

Then, on Thursday night, well Friday morning, I woke up at 1:30 am with one that hurt. I fell back asleep thinking if this was it, they would keep coming and wake me up. And sure enough they did. And they hurt. I texted Angie around 3 am and told her that it might be the real deal. I waited another thirty minutes and told her to come on over! I called my parents as well to start the drive so they could be here to care for Ellie. Once Angie got here, I was having to breathe through the contractions.



Although they were only like 5 minutes apart, they were hurting quite a bit. Taylor decided to take a shower, and Angie went and got breakfast for her and Taylor. Even though I wanted to do most of the labor at home, we were concerned that we didn't know how fast labor would go and I needed to get to the hospital in time to get all the antibiotics for my Group B Strep. So we decided to go the hospital at like 4 in the morning.



So, to the hospital we went. After getting into our bed, they checked me and I was at a 4, only a 4...sigh... They timed my contractions for half an hour and said that I wasn't going anywhere. They also started me on the antibiotics and called my doctor to let her know I was there. She came in to check on me about 8:30 in the morning, and I was a, drum roll please, a 5. Dang it! She suggested breaking my water to get me started. I was so against doing any of that, and to be honest, I don't even remember my reasoning for allowing her to break my water. But she did let me have the breaking of my water without doing the pitocin. I asked if I could have some stadol for the pain. They gave it to me and I kind of drifted off. Gemma's heartbeat stayed strong the entire time. I didn't have to have oxygen like I did with Ellie. I feel bad because Taylor and Angie were talking to me and stuff, and I could hear everything they were saying but didn't have the desire to respond. I am unsure of the timing after that, but a few hours later, they checked me and I was a 7, then checked me again and I was only an 8. I was at an 8 for a while. I started to get really restless - I changed positions a few times, getting on my hands and knees, leaning on Angie and rocking back and forth, sitting , leaning forward, etc.



About 1 pm, I just could not take it any longer. The contractions had been coming hard and fast since I was an 8, which had been a few hours prior to that. I remember starting to cry and just thinking I couldn't do it any longer. Angie got in my face and told me I could do it, which was what I needed. She reminded me that this meant the time was very soon to meet my daughter. My doctor got there after 1 and checked me and said I was at 9 and a quarter and she would come back and check me in a little while. I was just like "no dr, please take her out of me, I can't do this anymore." I asked her what would happen if I pushed, if I would tear? She said that it was probable but that I wasn't ready yet. I asked her to check again, and she did, and said we could give it a try. So I started to push, and she said okay let's give it a try! So they got all prepped and the pushing began. I think it only lasted about 5 minutes and she was born at 1:26 pm. I remember them saying "She has a lot of hair" and "Oh Amanda she is big!" and "you've got to stop screaming" And Taylor is reminding me that the last one was the most frequent...haha.

She came out, and they gave her to me right away. For some reason, this was a lot more emotional for me, and Taylor mentioned the same for him. Not that Ellie's birth wasn't emotional. The experience was definitely more intense with this labor, but I think it was because we knew....



We knew the joy she would bring and the laughter and the blessing because of Ellie, but we also understood the individual that Gemma would be. She arrived at a whopping 9 lb and 21-1/4" long. She looked very similar to Ellie.





Gemma is on top, and Ellie on the bottom.

I was able to nurse right away, and although she latched on great, she would cry and break off - that was hard. It was hard for the first couple of days, but now it is great!

Ellie is very interested in her and so far so good! I don't think she quite understands yet, and she can be a tiny bit rough, but unknowingly so.



I had to stay two days in the hospital because of the Group B, and it was pretty uninventful. Taylor had a couple of buddies drop by from out of town, and I was thankful to see them. Other than that though, we didn't have any visitors, which kind of hurt my feelings and disappointed me a little bit....

Other than that though, my recovery has been slow and quick at the same time compared to Ellie's. As always, I try to do too much too soon, and it always sets me back a little bit. But we are adjusting to a family of four and loving it. I am just so terrified I am going to miss something, something from Gemma or something from Ellie.

Two more things. Gemma Lee shares a birthday with her great grandmother! January 28. This is super exciting!! Another thing, not so important to Gemma's birth, but it was quite interesting that the entire labor, we were watching the horrible events unfold in Cairo, Egypt - the burning of the buildings, etc. I was kind of out of it for the whole thing...but every time I was coherent and looked at the TV, there was something else that elevating to an even worse situation....

the small changes

January 24th - 6 days until Gemma Lee's due date. I am so excited, anxious, nervous, impatient, and so much more emotions are just pouring out. Little things make me cry, and I have no idea why I am crying. I am so thankful Taylor is being patient with me and understands that is mostly hormones that is causing my crazy reactions sometimes! It has been an interesting few weeks. I am actually dilating. At 36 weeks, I was already a 1. Then at 37 weeks, I was a 2 and 50% effaced. At 38 weeks, I hadn't changed, and they estimated her weight to be at 8 lbs and 12 oz. I was a little frustrated and disappointed. I was hoping to be progressed a little more because I thought I was having contractions. My doctor suggested inducing the following Monday because she is estimated on the big side, but I decided to not do it. I would like to try to let her come when she is ready. However, with her already measuring two pounds heavier then Ellie was kinda scares me. I am praying that God prepares my body to deliver her whatever size she is though. Last week (at almost 39 weeks), I went in and had dilated to a 3, so that encouraged me to know that my contractions are doing something, and I am not being a wimp. Already, this labor process is different from Ellie, already being at least a 3 before even going to the hospital. With Ellie, I was barely a 1! Of course with Ellie, it was easy to know when I was in labor because my water broke which started things happening. With this one, it is not so easy to know. Last night I thought for sure was the real thing because they were a little more intense. But, nothing.... So now, we are just waiting. 39 weeks 1 day. When will be your birthday little one??

I am glad that Gemma decided not to make her appearance this week though because Ellie and I both got sick. Ellie was such a trooper. It was mainly the cold. For her, it started as a runny nose, then kinda developed from there - puffy eyes, cough, low fever, etc. Whenever she was awake, she was happy though. We only had two nights where she woke up once or twice in the middle of the night because she couldn't breathe with her runny nose. We tried having her sleep with us one night, but that didn't last long because she wanted to play...but she did snuggle with us for a little bit. She has been way MORE snuggly recently, and I am enjoying that so much! We are both on the upturn though, just runny noses.

My parents came this past weekend, and that was a nice break. I was able to breathe and not think, which is exactly what I needed. Ellie has a lot of fun with both of them. My dad played the Dobro for her, and she LOVED it! She is giving hugs now! I love it!! That is such a sweet moment when she comes up to you and hugs you. I treasure it so much. She knows the signs for dog now, and we think fish. We are trying to teach her please and thank you now. It is fun watching her learn on her own. Man, I love that girl.

Welcome 2011!

2010 is over, and 2011 has now begun! I, along with most people, have said there have been the bad things, but there has also been the awesome things. For me, 2011 is just another year with days that are just another day. I don't have any new resolutions or new goals. Yet, 2010 was a year in which there are several things to note -

January 6 brought us Ellie Louise - only 10 hours of labor and minutes of pushing, and out came a beautiful GIRL (we were surprised) - 9:52 am. 6 lb 13 oz. 21 1/2 inches. She has been such a joy and a delight! This first year of her life has gone by SO quick. Taylor and I are enthralled by her. She is changing before our eyes. Currently, she is walking, practically running, kicking soccer balls around, opening and shutting doors, putting things into boxes or drawers (I love finding toys in her pajama drawer - it makes me smile, however not so much when I find something in the toilet, haha), eating EVERYTHING that we eat (favorites are spaghetti and pancakes, however she has tried fish tacos, Thai food, stir fry, and I'm sure some other things that are very different), she has two teeth (on the bottom), she knows the signs for more, milk, and all done, she is learning to kiss and wave (not there yet), she sleeps all night, and is SUCH a joy when she wakes up!! She does so much more, but I've experienced all of this today so it is on the brain!

May 8 - we spread my grandmother's ashes. It was a sad day, yet we made it more about the memories and playing music, which she always enjoyed. I will miss her, and keep thinking about calling her and remembering that she is no longer here....

May 15 - we went on a trip to Connecticut where we celebrated one of Taylor's best friends getting married. We had such a great time!

June 5 is the day I found out we were expecting again!! CRAZY!!! And a bit of a shocker.

August was the big family reunion in Missouri, and I got to see one of my best friends, Rhiannon, whom I have not seen since she got married! It was a great week!

September 11 was the weekend of Taylor's Lemons Race - first experience, fun and yet very stressful. A new hobby was created, however one that has been on hold for a while...

October 12 we found out we are having a GIRL! We decided to find out this time :)

Pretty eventful year! The bible study I am in has been consistent and growing and I am getting closer and closer to the lovely ladies every time we meet. We have completed two studies - 12 extraordinary women and Stepping Up. Stepping Up was phenomenal and taught me a great deal and offered perspective that I needed at that point in my life.

Taylor and I have also branched off with community groups and now lead and host one in our home. I love the people in our group, and although we have lost a few, I hope and pray that our group can continue to grow in the Lord. We have decided to take a different approach this year, and do a more focused bible study. Very different for us, but I pray that God speaks through us.

Christmas was great this year! Ellie was very interested in everything she got and not so much the boxes and paper, which I thought was going to be the case. My parents and grandmother and sister came, which was so wonderful. We played a couple of pretty epic games. I do love my family.

2011 - things that are coming up this year!

Ellie is turning 1 on Thursday! It makes me want to cry! We are doing something not to big - hamburgers, hot dogs, and cupcakes, and having some family and friends over.

Gemma Lee is due on January 30! Keep posted for her arrival story very soon!

Taylor and my anniversary is August 5, and it will be FIVE YEARS!

Taylor's brother is getting married September 10 to a beautiful lady by the name of Erin!

So much to celebrate with everyone! So many babies are due! Weddings! Exciting stuff!

Greed

Thought that I would post this as a reminder to myself to examine my own character as well.

Yesterday, my best friend brought her son over for a bit before we went shopping, and then Ellie and him got to hang out for a bit afterwards. They both have, what Taylor and I call, frog. It's like a small soft blanket with an animal head of some sort. Ellie's is a frog, and she also has a monkey. Cash has a lion one. ANYWAY, these are their comfort items I guess you can say. Well Ellie and Cash like to fight over them. Last night, Ellie would have hers in one hand and walk over to Cash and snatch it from him and then walk away with both in tow. Cash, with a look like What?!, would go over and snatch his back. Ellie would then whine and go over and tug and tug until she could get his back from him. Although it was super funny to watch, I had to do a check. Right then, Ellie was being greedy and she was mad that she could not have both. So instead of laughing, I decided it was best that I nipped that behavior right in the bud. I gave her a couple of swats on the bottom until she released the toy and let Cash have it. She is still too little to understand what I was trying to teach, but I realized that I am supposed to be teaching her godliness, and the character that she was showing was greed and not godliness. Yes, you may say, she is only 1 (well almost :) ), but I am going to go with I should start teaching and LEADING BY EXAMPLE that greed is not a desirable trait and train her so. The LEAD BY EXAMPLE I capitalized for myself to remember that we are constantly having to be remolded to be like Christ and be godly. I pray for myself that God continues to discipline me where I am needed, and that He gives me wisdom in how I can train my children up in godliness as well. Oh boy, is it going to be a long road, but I know very enjoyable if we keep to his path.

Oh my! December already!

This year is going by so quickly!! As I write this, I am in Michigan, and I am seeing my first snow of the winter! It really does make a nice, warm feeling in my tummy. Wish my husband was still here so we could enjoy it together. But he is home in Longview working hard to make a living...he does such a great job. :) I decided to stay a few extra days so that Ellie could spend a bit more time with her Nana and Papa. We saw SO much family last week for Thanksgiving. It was really great. Taylor hasn't actually been in his parents' home in over a year. It was really great for him to be here. We saw pretty much everyone! This week has been much quieter because everyone has gone off to school or to home again. It has been also a very difficult time because Taylor's grandmother is recovering from a stroke that happened about two weeks ago. It is really hard to discern where she is at mentally.... It is hard to think that death is part of life. In church a couple of weeks ago, we were talking about one reason why we are alive is to die. I know where I am going, but it is still kinda scares me. It is hard to know how to pray for her... I just pray God is giving her peace of mind and speaking love to her heart in a way she understands.

Ellie is doing great! She is officially walking on her own, as of November 22!! She is eating everything! She had the cranberry, the turkey, the taters, the PIE! She just gobbled, gobbled, gobbled! It is getting harder and harder for me with all of her energy and ability to move. The constant getting up, getting down is really taking a toll on me, and I am aching a lot. Gemma is moving quite a bit, and I get a lot of back pressure. I am thankful that she is moving and growing, but I am getting uncomfortable.

Other than that, we are just counting down the days until new baby gets here, just about 8 weeks and 4 days until the due date. I think I will be early, but obviously, it is all unknown!