Gemma Lee... I was so surprised to find out I was pregnant. Ellie only being 5 months old at the time, and I was still breastfeeding. Yes, I know that breastfeeding is not a sure thing against getting pregnant again, obviously. Looking back, I remember thinking I kind of want to get pregnant again, not thinking it was going to happen. A month before finding out, I noticed a slight drop in my milk. I took the test, and I remember being slightly disappointed that it came back negative. May was such a CRAZY month. My family did quite a bit of traveling. We went to the lake to celebrate my grandmother's life. We went to Connecticut to celebrate Taylor's friend and his marriage. Ellie and I flew to Michigan to be with Taylor's family. I remember having a conversation with his mom about it being so crazy and even joking at the aspect of possibly being pregnant. Sure enough I was pregnant at the time and did not know it. The following week I got my wisdom teeth removed and was definitely put out for the operation. A couple of days later, I was very sick - thinking I possibly swallowed way too much blood. I took a test just to rule out pregnancy. But the little pink line showed up right away! I was pregnant! I remember worry because of the surgery and excitement because of another little one and panic because it happened so fast!



First of all, I want to thank a few people...

Taylor - my husband and best friend, father of my children, for seeing it all and loving me, for cooking, cleaning, and doing his fair share of Ellie diaper changes, for doing my "mom" duties when I felt sick, and so much more.

Angie - my wonderful friend (and doula), was there throughout the entire pregnancy and before, keeping tabs on me, caring for me, and just plain loving me.

My parents - for being wonderful grandparents and for helping me especially now when I am totally clueless on even how to begin to split my time and energy, or share my time and energy, to care for TWO little ones.

Taylor's parents - for loving us and their grandchildren, and their desire to know them. I hate that there is so much physical distance between us...

So, now the labor and delivery story....

At the 37 week ultrasound, I found out that she might weigh 8 lb 12 oz. Although an estimate, it shocked me and kind of scared me. My doctor recommended inducing the following Monday. I was at 2 cm and 50% effaced, which is crazy because I had not even dilated or effaced until my water broke with Ellie at a day before she was born. Taylor and I decided to let her come when she was ready. I had not dilated or effaced any more since the prior week, which was disappointing but meant absolutely nothing.

At the next appointment, I had dilated to a 3. This was good news for me because it meant that the contractions I had been feeling spontaneously were actually doing something. The following week, 3 days before my due date, I was close to a 4 and 70% effaced. To this point, I had been contracting. They never hurt, but they were consistent and lasted longer than a minute. They seemed to occur at night and when I was active. Angie and I had started doing what we could to get this baby out. We started walking a TON. We went to Walmart and walked for almost two hours. A few days later we went to the school campus and walked 3.3 miles pushing strollers. A couple of days later we went to a park and walked for 2 hours. I did my time on the birthing ball and doing squats. The park walk was on the day of my appointment. But still, the contractions never stayed and never hurt.

Then, on Thursday night, well Friday morning, I woke up at 1:30 am with one that hurt. I fell back asleep thinking if this was it, they would keep coming and wake me up. And sure enough they did. And they hurt. I texted Angie around 3 am and told her that it might be the real deal. I waited another thirty minutes and told her to come on over! I called my parents as well to start the drive so they could be here to care for Ellie. Once Angie got here, I was having to breathe through the contractions.



Although they were only like 5 minutes apart, they were hurting quite a bit. Taylor decided to take a shower, and Angie went and got breakfast for her and Taylor. Even though I wanted to do most of the labor at home, we were concerned that we didn't know how fast labor would go and I needed to get to the hospital in time to get all the antibiotics for my Group B Strep. So we decided to go the hospital at like 4 in the morning.



So, to the hospital we went. After getting into our bed, they checked me and I was at a 4, only a 4...sigh... They timed my contractions for half an hour and said that I wasn't going anywhere. They also started me on the antibiotics and called my doctor to let her know I was there. She came in to check on me about 8:30 in the morning, and I was a, drum roll please, a 5. Dang it! She suggested breaking my water to get me started. I was so against doing any of that, and to be honest, I don't even remember my reasoning for allowing her to break my water. But she did let me have the breaking of my water without doing the pitocin. I asked if I could have some stadol for the pain. They gave it to me and I kind of drifted off. Gemma's heartbeat stayed strong the entire time. I didn't have to have oxygen like I did with Ellie. I feel bad because Taylor and Angie were talking to me and stuff, and I could hear everything they were saying but didn't have the desire to respond. I am unsure of the timing after that, but a few hours later, they checked me and I was a 7, then checked me again and I was only an 8. I was at an 8 for a while. I started to get really restless - I changed positions a few times, getting on my hands and knees, leaning on Angie and rocking back and forth, sitting , leaning forward, etc.



About 1 pm, I just could not take it any longer. The contractions had been coming hard and fast since I was an 8, which had been a few hours prior to that. I remember starting to cry and just thinking I couldn't do it any longer. Angie got in my face and told me I could do it, which was what I needed. She reminded me that this meant the time was very soon to meet my daughter. My doctor got there after 1 and checked me and said I was at 9 and a quarter and she would come back and check me in a little while. I was just like "no dr, please take her out of me, I can't do this anymore." I asked her what would happen if I pushed, if I would tear? She said that it was probable but that I wasn't ready yet. I asked her to check again, and she did, and said we could give it a try. So I started to push, and she said okay let's give it a try! So they got all prepped and the pushing began. I think it only lasted about 5 minutes and she was born at 1:26 pm. I remember them saying "She has a lot of hair" and "Oh Amanda she is big!" and "you've got to stop screaming" And Taylor is reminding me that the last one was the most frequent...haha.

She came out, and they gave her to me right away. For some reason, this was a lot more emotional for me, and Taylor mentioned the same for him. Not that Ellie's birth wasn't emotional. The experience was definitely more intense with this labor, but I think it was because we knew....



We knew the joy she would bring and the laughter and the blessing because of Ellie, but we also understood the individual that Gemma would be. She arrived at a whopping 9 lb and 21-1/4" long. She looked very similar to Ellie.





Gemma is on top, and Ellie on the bottom.

I was able to nurse right away, and although she latched on great, she would cry and break off - that was hard. It was hard for the first couple of days, but now it is great!

Ellie is very interested in her and so far so good! I don't think she quite understands yet, and she can be a tiny bit rough, but unknowingly so.



I had to stay two days in the hospital because of the Group B, and it was pretty uninventful. Taylor had a couple of buddies drop by from out of town, and I was thankful to see them. Other than that though, we didn't have any visitors, which kind of hurt my feelings and disappointed me a little bit....

Other than that though, my recovery has been slow and quick at the same time compared to Ellie's. As always, I try to do too much too soon, and it always sets me back a little bit. But we are adjusting to a family of four and loving it. I am just so terrified I am going to miss something, something from Gemma or something from Ellie.

Two more things. Gemma Lee shares a birthday with her great grandmother! January 28. This is super exciting!! Another thing, not so important to Gemma's birth, but it was quite interesting that the entire labor, we were watching the horrible events unfold in Cairo, Egypt - the burning of the buildings, etc. I was kind of out of it for the whole thing...but every time I was coherent and looked at the TV, there was something else that elevating to an even worse situation....

the small changes

January 24th - 6 days until Gemma Lee's due date. I am so excited, anxious, nervous, impatient, and so much more emotions are just pouring out. Little things make me cry, and I have no idea why I am crying. I am so thankful Taylor is being patient with me and understands that is mostly hormones that is causing my crazy reactions sometimes! It has been an interesting few weeks. I am actually dilating. At 36 weeks, I was already a 1. Then at 37 weeks, I was a 2 and 50% effaced. At 38 weeks, I hadn't changed, and they estimated her weight to be at 8 lbs and 12 oz. I was a little frustrated and disappointed. I was hoping to be progressed a little more because I thought I was having contractions. My doctor suggested inducing the following Monday because she is estimated on the big side, but I decided to not do it. I would like to try to let her come when she is ready. However, with her already measuring two pounds heavier then Ellie was kinda scares me. I am praying that God prepares my body to deliver her whatever size she is though. Last week (at almost 39 weeks), I went in and had dilated to a 3, so that encouraged me to know that my contractions are doing something, and I am not being a wimp. Already, this labor process is different from Ellie, already being at least a 3 before even going to the hospital. With Ellie, I was barely a 1! Of course with Ellie, it was easy to know when I was in labor because my water broke which started things happening. With this one, it is not so easy to know. Last night I thought for sure was the real thing because they were a little more intense. But, nothing.... So now, we are just waiting. 39 weeks 1 day. When will be your birthday little one??

I am glad that Gemma decided not to make her appearance this week though because Ellie and I both got sick. Ellie was such a trooper. It was mainly the cold. For her, it started as a runny nose, then kinda developed from there - puffy eyes, cough, low fever, etc. Whenever she was awake, she was happy though. We only had two nights where she woke up once or twice in the middle of the night because she couldn't breathe with her runny nose. We tried having her sleep with us one night, but that didn't last long because she wanted to play...but she did snuggle with us for a little bit. She has been way MORE snuggly recently, and I am enjoying that so much! We are both on the upturn though, just runny noses.

My parents came this past weekend, and that was a nice break. I was able to breathe and not think, which is exactly what I needed. Ellie has a lot of fun with both of them. My dad played the Dobro for her, and she LOVED it! She is giving hugs now! I love it!! That is such a sweet moment when she comes up to you and hugs you. I treasure it so much. She knows the signs for dog now, and we think fish. We are trying to teach her please and thank you now. It is fun watching her learn on her own. Man, I love that girl.

Welcome 2011!

2010 is over, and 2011 has now begun! I, along with most people, have said there have been the bad things, but there has also been the awesome things. For me, 2011 is just another year with days that are just another day. I don't have any new resolutions or new goals. Yet, 2010 was a year in which there are several things to note -

January 6 brought us Ellie Louise - only 10 hours of labor and minutes of pushing, and out came a beautiful GIRL (we were surprised) - 9:52 am. 6 lb 13 oz. 21 1/2 inches. She has been such a joy and a delight! This first year of her life has gone by SO quick. Taylor and I are enthralled by her. She is changing before our eyes. Currently, she is walking, practically running, kicking soccer balls around, opening and shutting doors, putting things into boxes or drawers (I love finding toys in her pajama drawer - it makes me smile, however not so much when I find something in the toilet, haha), eating EVERYTHING that we eat (favorites are spaghetti and pancakes, however she has tried fish tacos, Thai food, stir fry, and I'm sure some other things that are very different), she has two teeth (on the bottom), she knows the signs for more, milk, and all done, she is learning to kiss and wave (not there yet), she sleeps all night, and is SUCH a joy when she wakes up!! She does so much more, but I've experienced all of this today so it is on the brain!

May 8 - we spread my grandmother's ashes. It was a sad day, yet we made it more about the memories and playing music, which she always enjoyed. I will miss her, and keep thinking about calling her and remembering that she is no longer here....

May 15 - we went on a trip to Connecticut where we celebrated one of Taylor's best friends getting married. We had such a great time!

June 5 is the day I found out we were expecting again!! CRAZY!!! And a bit of a shocker.

August was the big family reunion in Missouri, and I got to see one of my best friends, Rhiannon, whom I have not seen since she got married! It was a great week!

September 11 was the weekend of Taylor's Lemons Race - first experience, fun and yet very stressful. A new hobby was created, however one that has been on hold for a while...

October 12 we found out we are having a GIRL! We decided to find out this time :)

Pretty eventful year! The bible study I am in has been consistent and growing and I am getting closer and closer to the lovely ladies every time we meet. We have completed two studies - 12 extraordinary women and Stepping Up. Stepping Up was phenomenal and taught me a great deal and offered perspective that I needed at that point in my life.

Taylor and I have also branched off with community groups and now lead and host one in our home. I love the people in our group, and although we have lost a few, I hope and pray that our group can continue to grow in the Lord. We have decided to take a different approach this year, and do a more focused bible study. Very different for us, but I pray that God speaks through us.

Christmas was great this year! Ellie was very interested in everything she got and not so much the boxes and paper, which I thought was going to be the case. My parents and grandmother and sister came, which was so wonderful. We played a couple of pretty epic games. I do love my family.

2011 - things that are coming up this year!

Ellie is turning 1 on Thursday! It makes me want to cry! We are doing something not to big - hamburgers, hot dogs, and cupcakes, and having some family and friends over.

Gemma Lee is due on January 30! Keep posted for her arrival story very soon!

Taylor and my anniversary is August 5, and it will be FIVE YEARS!

Taylor's brother is getting married September 10 to a beautiful lady by the name of Erin!

So much to celebrate with everyone! So many babies are due! Weddings! Exciting stuff!

Greed

Thought that I would post this as a reminder to myself to examine my own character as well.

Yesterday, my best friend brought her son over for a bit before we went shopping, and then Ellie and him got to hang out for a bit afterwards. They both have, what Taylor and I call, frog. It's like a small soft blanket with an animal head of some sort. Ellie's is a frog, and she also has a monkey. Cash has a lion one. ANYWAY, these are their comfort items I guess you can say. Well Ellie and Cash like to fight over them. Last night, Ellie would have hers in one hand and walk over to Cash and snatch it from him and then walk away with both in tow. Cash, with a look like What?!, would go over and snatch his back. Ellie would then whine and go over and tug and tug until she could get his back from him. Although it was super funny to watch, I had to do a check. Right then, Ellie was being greedy and she was mad that she could not have both. So instead of laughing, I decided it was best that I nipped that behavior right in the bud. I gave her a couple of swats on the bottom until she released the toy and let Cash have it. She is still too little to understand what I was trying to teach, but I realized that I am supposed to be teaching her godliness, and the character that she was showing was greed and not godliness. Yes, you may say, she is only 1 (well almost :) ), but I am going to go with I should start teaching and LEADING BY EXAMPLE that greed is not a desirable trait and train her so. The LEAD BY EXAMPLE I capitalized for myself to remember that we are constantly having to be remolded to be like Christ and be godly. I pray for myself that God continues to discipline me where I am needed, and that He gives me wisdom in how I can train my children up in godliness as well. Oh boy, is it going to be a long road, but I know very enjoyable if we keep to his path.

Oh my! December already!

This year is going by so quickly!! As I write this, I am in Michigan, and I am seeing my first snow of the winter! It really does make a nice, warm feeling in my tummy. Wish my husband was still here so we could enjoy it together. But he is home in Longview working hard to make a living...he does such a great job. :) I decided to stay a few extra days so that Ellie could spend a bit more time with her Nana and Papa. We saw SO much family last week for Thanksgiving. It was really great. Taylor hasn't actually been in his parents' home in over a year. It was really great for him to be here. We saw pretty much everyone! This week has been much quieter because everyone has gone off to school or to home again. It has been also a very difficult time because Taylor's grandmother is recovering from a stroke that happened about two weeks ago. It is really hard to discern where she is at mentally.... It is hard to think that death is part of life. In church a couple of weeks ago, we were talking about one reason why we are alive is to die. I know where I am going, but it is still kinda scares me. It is hard to know how to pray for her... I just pray God is giving her peace of mind and speaking love to her heart in a way she understands.

Ellie is doing great! She is officially walking on her own, as of November 22!! She is eating everything! She had the cranberry, the turkey, the taters, the PIE! She just gobbled, gobbled, gobbled! It is getting harder and harder for me with all of her energy and ability to move. The constant getting up, getting down is really taking a toll on me, and I am aching a lot. Gemma is moving quite a bit, and I get a lot of back pressure. I am thankful that she is moving and growing, but I am getting uncomfortable.

Other than that, we are just counting down the days until new baby gets here, just about 8 weeks and 4 days until the due date. I think I will be early, but obviously, it is all unknown!

Walking and "Talking"

My girl is growing up so fast! This is just more for me so that I can kinda remember when she started standing and "talking." Last week, I believe Wednesday? which was October 13, she stood on her own for the second time and has kept on going!! She stood on her own for the first time a few weeks ago, but it was definitely a fluke, she was reaching for something in my hand. I was turned a different way and didn't even realize it. When I did, I screamed, and she fell over. I think I scared her. But ever since last week, she is standing and starting to bounce when she is standing. She will be walking VERY soon I think! She tries to take steps, but unsuccessful so far...haha.

She has ALSO learned a sign language. BUT, we don't know which one!! We are teaching her eat, more, milk, and all done. And we think she is either doing all done or milk. However, a bunch of us decided it must be milk. It is kinda like she shakes her right fist in the air by her head. But if I take everything away she gets a little upset, and so I give her milk, and she GLADLY takes it.

Her noise of the week is like a shh shh. Super cute!

We had a visit with Nana last week, and let me tell you Sue, if you read this, I definitely appreciate you and love you SO much. Thank you for accepting me into your family!! I was developing a cold, and Nana was right on time to take care of EVERYTHING. It was wonderful. I could rest, and Ellie could get all the love. We went to the zoo, took walks, and it was good.

New baby girl, whom I think we are going to name Gemma Lee, is doing great. Everything went well with the second sonogram, and she looks super cute!! I was comparing her pics with Ellie's at the same time, and they look different! It will be exciting to meet her. I am already getting nervous and thinking about the ultimate goal for some sort of schedule. Ellie is pretty much clockwork. So, we shall see :) I am not going to have expectations. Ellie was kinda early with getting on schedule and sleeping through the night, but it might take a LOT longer with Gemma, so I just have to have some patience and roll with it.

She is moving a lot, and Taylor can feel all the kicks and punches, and we are beginning to see her move as well. Mmm...my girls...love them!

More to Come

Whoo weee! It's been a while since an update and a vent. Ellie, my darling daughter, is something special! I love her, and I am loving her more and more everyday. I am beginning to see her uniqueness, and I am already trying to pick out what kind of girl she is going to be. She is such a happy baby. She loves to make different sounds. She loves straps and strings, and waving them in the air. She is standing up on EVERYTHING. Although, she can not stand on her own yet, she is getting there. She is our super petite little girl, and I have no idea where she gets it from. Taylor and I have a tall slender build, but she is just stinkin tiny. She also will eat pretty much anything we give her. However, the other day, I was feeding her vegetable medley with turkey, and she was giving me the sour face, and I couldn't figure out why. When she opened her mouth wide for the next bite, I saw chunks of potato and carrot and realized that this was the next stage, and not everything was pureed. She was letting me know, "Mom, this stuff is making me choke!" We are also giving her the snack food bite things from Graduates, which she grimaces when eating them, but she doesn't stop. Half of them end up in her palm or in her seat though. She is getting better :) She loves to smile, and I try to encourage her to smile at people that say hi to her. She knows the word 'no'. Which is awesome. Rarely does she test the limit, which leads me to believe that the next one may push the limit and test us a bit more. And we are trying now to be consistent. As hard as it is. We are working on sign language with her. Hopefully by next year, she will at least know 'more' and 'all done'. We will see :) Oh, and her FAVORITE thing is Frog. Whenever we lay her down for her nap, she reaches for that thing, and covers her face, and in goes the thumb. Super cute!



Now, we have found out that the little one growing in my tummy is another girl! We are so excited! I feel almost more excited about this one than I did with Ellie, and I think it is because I know what to expect now, and I know what is coming out, not as far as sex goes, but as far as what a baby is! As far as names, we are thinking Gemma Lee right now, but we are looking at others. Not 100% sure. She is moving around A LOT! I love it! I definitely felt it very soon, something like 16-17 weeks, the slight flutters and so forth. I went to a consignment sale a week ago, and got a double stroller, a pack 'n play, and something like 13 outfits for $130. I felt accomplished! I am trying to mentally prepare myself for sleepless nights here in a few months. It is going to be a slightly different ball game. On one hand, I know mostly what to expect. I realize that this baby may pose new things I didn't see with Ellie. But I know how to change a diaper now! But on the other hand, I am also going to have a 1 year old wanting my attention, and I am not sure how she will be. If she will be jealous, clingy, whiny, happy, gentle, rough, I have no idea. Obviously, I hope the transition will be perfect, but that is not the real world.



Taylor is doing great. A couple of weekends ago, he and a few other guys participated in the 24 hours of Lemons race, which is where they buy and upgrade a car for $500 or less, not including the safety stuff. I have very mixed feelings about the whole thing. It took up a lot of time and money, but Taylor had a great time doing a hobby he loves. Since this was the first rodeo, there was a lot to learn. Things will be done a bit different next time around. The weekend went horrible, but I would do it again. The car didn't last long at all. And they spent the whole weekend in the pit trying to fix it enough for the next person to get a turn. I spent most of my time keeping my mouth shut, but fuming in the background. Taylor had a great attitude throughout the entire weekend, and I respect him even more because of it. Now if I can have a great attitude and give him more the reason to love me. He wouldn't say this, but that is what I was thinking. Taylor's dad was also able to come! It was such a short visit, but I think he had fun working on the car with Troy's dad, also from Michigan. Oh, and it was the first weekend for me away from Ellie. And yes, I balled my eyes out the night before we left.



I think this next picture is the final tow. It caught on fire and was done. They did win an award - Most Horrible Yank Tank. Which ALMOST makes everything horrible that happened totally worth it.



A couple weekends before that, my mom, sister, Ellie, and I had our 2nd Annual Girls' Weekend. We went to Hot Springs, Arkansas. It was a lot of fun. My mom was awesome, and got us a pretty nice set up for the weekend. Ginny and I got a massage and a pedicure. I would like to make both a monthly or every other month ritual. It is so worth it. We enjoyed going to the park. We didn't really go somewhere super nice to eat, which is something that would have been nice. Every time it was time to eat, I felt like nothing was good. So it was definitely my fault. Ellie also had the worst gas/constipation ever! It was horrible! I was almost in tears because she was in so much pain. I tried putting her in the bath, and she was so tired that she kept falling over into the water while crying. I finally got in with her and turned the shower on and just held her. She was finally able to calm down and let out a bunch of toots. But that was a horrible experience. That was on Saturday, so we didn't really do any of the plans we wanted to. But the whole point was just to get away with just us girls and hang out. And that was what we did. :) Next year will be a handful with two little ones, but we could hardly leave the gals out of the girls' getaway!




We are also having a transformation in our finances, and for the better! We are doing the Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University with our church. We are so excited and with gazelle intensity, we are determined to get debt free! I get very passionate about this and want everyone to become knowledgeable about this stuff. Maybe, that is what I should do. I just had a light bulb. I have been so disappointed with how our school systems, high school and college, have taught students about personal finance, debt, checkbooks, borrowing, mortgage, etc. It is sad how much we don't know, and because of it, get ourselves in so much DEBT that we feel trapped. The one thing for me, is if something were to happen to Taylor and I, I don't want to leave Ellie and Gemma with OUR debt, nothing for them, and no will, which reminds me, we have to get on writing that, which is super HARD which is why we haven't even started. I don't want the government deciding what happens to our kids or our assets, what a tragedy. I need to accomplish that soon. It is making me worried thinking of it as incomplete right now.

And, I am 24 today. Crazy how much has happened. I have been a Christian for 8 years, 9 months, and 19 days. Taylor and I have been married for 4 years, 1 month, and 17 days. Ellie is 8 months and 16 days old. I am 21 weeks and 3 days pregnant with our second little girl. We have been a dog owner for 1 year, 5 months, and 6 days. We have been a house owner for 1 year, 3 months, and 8 days. We both have college degrees. Here are some goals for the next, let's say 10 years:

- to be DEBT FREE!!
- to go to Europe.
- to begin building our own home with our own land.
- to have 2 more kids (maybe ;) )
- to go on family vacations to: camping in Canada, skiing in Colorado, snorkeling and Disney in Florida, hiking and camping in may other places, and of course sailing in Tawas!

There are probably more, but that is all I can think of for now!