Just the Two of Us

This weekend Taylor and I got to go away and be ourselves for an entire weekend! It was perfect!! And so much needed! We got up and said good bye to our lovely ladies on Friday morning. Don't worry, we left them under the care of the fabulous Oma, and knew they would be in good hands. We spent the weekend in Dallas, not TOO far away, but enough that it was a getaway. Our first destination was the King Spa. We had a lot of fun. We got a couple's massage, ate Korean food, and just relaxed. It was a perfect start. Then we left to get checked in to our hotel. After a short nap, we went to the Thomas Avenue Beverage Company. It was really good! Taylor got a burger, and I got the fish tacos. I also asked the bartender to make me something girly and fruity to drink, and that was awesome too! Then we went to see Cowboys and Aliens, which was quite entertaining. It was interesting being downtown and seeing everyone wearing work out clothes and their ipods but no one was actually running...must just be a style thing...haha. So that was Friday. Saturday, we got up and went to eat at the Breadwinners. Now that place was awesome, and very busy. But we sat at the bar so got immediate sitting. We both got the eggs benedict, and it was delicious. Then we went to the Dallas Zoo, which is actually really good! There is cover nearly everywhere, and it was kinda sprinkling so it was not too hot. We stopped to watch the flight show, and we witnessed a volunteer get chased into the pool by chickens. It was hilarious!! After the zoo, we went home took another nap. Then we went to the Saltgrass Steakhouse, and then went to three different Studio Movie Grills to try to experience that coolness, but no luck! First was shut down - it had moved to a different location. The second was not the one we had looked up and the movie started thirty minutes, and by the time we got to the third location, the movie we wanted to see was sold out! So no luck and the conclusion of our evening. But it was all still fun. We just jammed and rocked out to music and danced in our seats during the drive. Good time together. We came home on Sunday so EXCITED to see our girls. I enjoyed having a complete day of no responsibilities. My mom did wonderful with the girls! And the girls slept in the same room the whole time. So now to start off the week doing what I do! Laters!

Wedding Vows

We are coming up on our 5th Year Anniversary! August 5, 2006. I thought I would share our vows that we wrote on our own.

"I take you, Amanda, to be my wife. I vow to cherish and respect you unconditionally for all the days of my life. I believe the Lord has placed you in my life to be my partner in marriage. I promise to provide for you spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I will protect you and sacrifice for you when I am weak, as well as when I am strong. I promise to be a good father and to raise our children in a loving Christian home. I promise to hare my entire life with you, and to be completely honest in everything I say and do. I promise to respect all your dreams and goals, and to encourage you when you need it most. I promise, that in every situation, no matter what has been said or done, I will keep faith, act in love and honor the relationship of marriage we have entered into. I love you, Amanda, and in the name of God, this is my solemn vow." ~ Taylor

"I take you, Taylor, to be my husband. I vow to cherish and respect you unconditionally for all the days of my life. I believe the Lord has placed you in my life to be my partner in marriage. I realize marriages are not perfect; we are not perfect. I know we will go through hard times, sometimes to difficult to bear, whether it be finances or sicknesses. But I know we all also go through great times, like having children and growing old together. I can't promise to be a perfect wife. There will be times when I am wrong, times when I am mean, and times when I am distant. But, right now, I am promising to honor this relationship, and trust the Lord that this our covenant to each other til death due us part. I promise to love you and stand by your side. I promise to support your goals and dreams, and to encourage you when you are weak and when you are strong. And I will go to the Lord in prayer for your strength and wisdom, and that you may be filled with the Spirit of God, and I will submit to what you think is best. I promise to be forgiving and share my life with you in faithfulness. I love you, Taylor. And, in the name of God, this is my solemn vow."

Violated

So...yesterday was a pretty bad day. I have been feeling really good and then every once in a while (more often recently), I have been in a pretty sour mood - kind of depressed like. I know it has a lot to do with hormones, but sometimes it is hard to shake the overwhelming feeling of inadequacy, selfishness, short temper, mean sarcasm, and my imperfections shine even more. I feel like Paul when he says he wants to do right, but can't. Not only that, but I have been waking up in the middle of the night and unable to get back to sleep. Instead of staring at the ceiling, I do get up and read and pray. But then I am sleep deprived, adding to the hormones.

Yesterday, I took Ellie outside to play in the sprinkler, and she was so excited. I noticed that the back gate was open. Thinking it was weird, I went to close it to protect my daughter and keep her and the dog from escaping. That is when I noticed that the shed door was wide open and a huge vacant spot where our mower usually sat. I just prayed that Taylor took it to the front yard for whatever reason, knowing though that it wasn't the case. Then the waterworks started... I called Taylor and carried my daughter into the house and just sobbed. Ellie was being so sweet, and I was so angry and cursing this unknown thief. I put her in the pack-n-play with a bunch of toys and a video and went to the other room and just cried. I was so angry! I prayed and prayed, but not for me to have a heart of forgiveness and mercy, but for justice and for whoever this was to fail at whatever purpose he was going to use this lawn mower and weed-eater (yep, stolen too) for. I just feel so violated. And then as the day went on, I felt worse because of my own sinful reaction. Then, I felt physically even worse from all the crying, so then I ate whatever I wanted - fast food was easiest. Eating this all day made me feel even worse.... Spiral downwards....

Today is a new day. I realized I missed my baby girls. In my emotional craziness, I missed out on Day 560 of Ellie's life and Day 173 of Gemma's life. Seems like just a day, but each day is so valuable! I do NOT want to take for granted the time I have with them. I want to choose life today and not to sulk. If something like a stolen lawn mower comes up again, as small as it is, I need to take it to the Lord, leave it as His feet, and then trust He will provide, in whatever way He sees fit. Easier said than done. I am so thankful God still loves a sinner like me. And He still loves whoever that thief was. Gar. Lord, help me. Even as I type this, my heart still needs some changing towards the subject....

To Record for Me: 07/12/2011

Gemma tucked her knees under her today! Love you baby! Slow down on that growing though shoogs! Ellie is learning new signs and saying new things!

Signs: mom, dad, sorry, frog, help, and much much more!

Says: I sorry. I stuck. Whassat? Go.

Celebrations

I'm a little bored, and I remembered I haven't posted on this in a few days. Not too much is new with this family. We have made a few goals. We both realized that we don't really have goals and in order to feel like we are aiming at something, we set a few. I want to sign up for a Swamp Foot Race in September while we are in Michigan. It is going to be the Saturday before Austin and Erin's wedding. I am super excited. It is a four mile foot race, except you go over lots of obstacles. So I am beginning the training for that. Taylor is as well. Oh yeah! I spent a while in Michigan, and just got back from that. It was really good. I enjoyed spending time with Taylor's family, and they were able to enjoy the babies. We also celebrated Austin and Erin by throwing them (really her haha) a wedding shower. Leah and I hosted it, and we played the Price is Right and the Spice is Right. I thought everything went really well, and I think that Erin got a few things to help them set up. It is always such a HUGE blessing to have that help. I remember it all too well, and I am so thankful for those people who blessed us so much. we are still using most everything given to us :) I am very stoked for their wedding 9-10-11!! We are going to spend two weeks up there, which is something Taylor has not been able to do in a while, so we are super excited for that!! Girls are good. I love being their mom. Although, I do wish I was a better mom at times. They are a delight, and God convict me if I ever complain. Thank you Lord for my two girls.

update #3

Ellie - 16 and a half months

- things she says: kaka (cracker), Sha (Shanks our dog), mil (milk), oose (juice), dah dah (dog dog), men (amen), and ana (banana), b (bird)

- things she signs: more, please, milk, juice, dog, book, cracker, blanket, hat, sleep, eat, help, banana, water, bird

- climbs everything

- gives kisses

- waves byebye

Gemma - 4 months

- is sleeping until 6am

- can roll over back to front

- babbles and coos :)

- smiles and laughs

hurt feelings

i love friendships. i love hanging out with the girls and talking about nonsense and love being able to share the deeper heart issues. in church for the past few months, we have been talking about real jesus encounters and how we can be real friends with other people. i have been thinking a lot about this and different ways i can be a true friend, but i am struggling because sometimes friendships take some work. and what i have been dealing with a lot lately is friendships not being recipricated. i feel like on my end that i would consider them a good friend, or someone that i want to get to know more, but they have already forgotten about me.... i know this is shallow, but i start to think am i not smart enough? am i not pretty enough? am i not stylish enough? am i not funny enough? i guess i feel like i am on someones checklist sometimes too. i hate that. i should know that a lot of friendships are seasonal. when do i speak up and say hey you hurt my feelings. i dont want people to feel obligated to hang out with me, or pay attention to me,when i know they just have other friends. in other words - this is just me being too selfish? i dont know. jesus, sometimes i wonder if i am that person with you. just like i dont want to be an item to check off your list of hanging out with today, i know you dont want to be on a checklist either. give me the wisdom to know when i am doing that to you or others and also when i should confront a friend.